GRACE ENOUGH--Part 2

The earth beneath your feet has been absorbing the light since the day it was created. 

Stop for a moment and soak some of it up...there's enough for all.

Look out the window and gaze at the beauty of the sky and trees.

Lean into the Love around you.

There's enough love, enough light, enough peace, enough joy for all.

These are the gifts that no economy can take away or produce.

These are the gifts that no war can destroy. 

These are your gifts!

~ Jules Bonde, December 20, 2014

GRATITUDE IS...

Looking forward to filling the table up with my loves!

Gratitude is this moment

when we look out the window
or accross the table and say "wow!"

when we open our hearts
to the beauty of the mess
and finally allow the gift in the door and receive it with open arms

Gratitude is this moment

when we bow with tears of joy
surrendering to the mystery of love and life

Gratitude is this moment

when we pause to see how amazing
this life truly is

Gratitude is a table 
ready to be filled with laughter
and sharing

Gratitude is this moment now

and we say "THANK YOU!" 

in short...

GRATITUDE IS

WOW

ALLOW

BOW

NOW

THANK YOU! 

_______________________

Thoughts on Thanksgiving 2022.

with Love and Gratitude 

From Jules 

 

CHRISTMAS THANKSGIVING

MORNING—THE DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS EVE
The sun rises, peeking through clouds, over a quiet neighborhood in a big city. Mannheim Steamroller Christmas music fills my heart and the kitchen. The music connects me to my childhood Christmases, to the music that has filled me each and every year since my first Christmas so many years ago. As the music booms, we cook eggs, cut fruit and make tea for our breakfast. The sun has made it over the roofs of the houses and bursts through our windows. African violets and poinsettia beam with joyful color. We eat in silence, reading the paper, doing sudoku or just listening. It is not an enforced silence but a natural one. No words are needed right now. Silent Night, delicious eggs and the sun streaking across the table are enough for this moment.

 

WHAT IF?

Soon the moment will be over and we’ll be in our Christmas party-prep mode. This year, as we put up decorations, bought presents for loved ones and talked with our family about plans, I found myself wishing this is how we approached more of our lives. What if instead of just once a year, we quarterly or monthly spent a day displaying beauty, listening to or singing great music and cherishing moments with our loved ones? What if? What if it didn’t need to be a date on the calendar or snow or the perfect tree? What if we just found uncelebrated days to be just as lovely, just as full of desire to bring joy to one another? What if? What if, more often, we asked others what they want and then did what we could to help them get that? What if?

 

CHRISTMAS THANKSGIVING

I am so grateful for this cherished moment—for the music, for the food, for the sun, for my sons nearby to plan the party with, for my best friend and partner Pete, to share this messy and glorious life with. What if I dropped the worry about getting the perfect gifts and the right food and just carried the gratitude instead? Perhaps the gratitude will be the best gift I give this year. Perhaps.

 

THANK YOU!

I will begin with you. I am so grateful for you in my world dear reader and friend. I couldn’t be here writing this without you. I couldn’t share it without you to receive it. You make ALL the difference in the world. Your presence in my life is cherished.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

 

With all my heart,

Jules

 

December 23, 2021

 

STAYING AT HOME (Grounding in Home)

STAYING AT HOME / GROUNDING IN HOME
April 12, 2020 [it's been almost 30 days since we started closing down and sheltering at home during the Coronavirus/COVID-19 crisis]

Officially, during the last 4 weeks, we have been under a "Stay at Home" order in Minnesota. Some call it "lockdown," some call it "sheltering at home," some call it "sabbath," hmmmm. I guess what you call it depends on your perspective. Officially, I can't write in my journal right now without having this situation be part of my thoughts. Quite simply, the COVID-19 crisis has affected everyone and everything I know, except love. Love is a constant.

Coincidentally, my book group started reading and discussing "Grounded: Finding God in the World, A Spiritual Revolution" by Diana Butler Bass in mid-February. After being derailed for a couple weeks, I invited the group to meet with me on Zoom to connect and discuss the book. Also, coincidentally, the chapter we discussed last Thursday is called "Home." Butler Bass does a great job of thoroughly covering the subject of home (ancient history to modern times including Bible and church effects on home) except she doesn't cover what home might come to mean to us after a mass quarantine such as we are in the middle of. Truthfully, I don't know the answer to that either but I do have some thoughts I'd like to share.

So what is home? Where do you live? How do you define home? What does it mean for you? I agree with Butler Bass that these are sacred questions. So I ask, what does 'Stay at Home' mean for your heart?

The beach I grew up on in Madagascar

Home as a Place: In my early years, home was plain and simply Madagascar (the island on the other side of the world, not the movie). The whole island, which is as large as Texas, felt like home to me. The climate, the people, the food, the earth, everything felt like home. It is the place of my birth, which is often our early definition of home. In particular, the ocean was home to me. The ocean is constantly moving and changing, always another wave coming in and in that changing, there is life you can count on. I always feel better in my heart, like I am home when I am near the ocean. The second best is being near any other body of water. Home is a place where my feet can wade in the water and know there is life, there is breath, there is another day.

Home as Family: It gets messier when you start thinking about home and family as being synonyms. It's messy because family is messy. My parents loved each other and the world. They also loved their faith life. To the best of their ability, they tried to create home for us, a place where we could grow in love and faith. My dad as a missionary pastor enthusiastically shared his faith with us. My own faith journey starts with my parents. In many little ways, my parents are why I feel so connected to my own spiritual grounding. God's love and grace is home to me.

the HOME, Missionary Children's Home

But, (with family there is always a but) we all went off to boarding school when we were 5 or 6. In fact my siblings were already there when I was born. So the messy of my family is that we never really lived together all in one place, as a family. Then the kids and adults at boarding school became a second family to me, one just as messy. In fact our boarding school was affectionately called "the Home," short for Missionary Children's Home. There was the girls I had as a roommates who still feel more like siblings than my family of origin. There were the houseparents who were there when I was sick, who heard me give my first speech and my first piano recital and all that. And there was the fact the missionary family were are always coming and going, so one could never sink roots too deep. You had to be ready for the next goodbye.

Then when I came back to the states both of those families evaporated. Once in America, my parents and siblings ended up living coast to coast and all in different states. It is hard to build relationship from a distance. The same was true of my classmates and peers from boarding school. For awhile and even still, it often has felt like I am an orphan, without a family. Dad and Mom died 33 and 13 years ago respectively. At moments I have even been jealous of friends' siblings fighting, thinking "at least you have a sibling to fight with." I did get a new family though. I married my dear husband straight out of college, when we were 22. Part of the attraction was that he had a family, a very grounded and solid one. The Bonde family has been such a gift to this orphan. I've been able to graft my heart on to their solid vine and have some roots as a result. And that's helped Minnesota to feel a bit like home.

Pete & I at home.

I wanted so badly to have family, that I had four kids and then became what is called at "homemaker," a stay-at-home mom. Yes, that's me! I built a whole career, a whole life on stay-at-home. I haven't always like the moniker 'homemaker' but it really does describe it. I didn't just find a home, I created one. And I didn't do it alone. I had help from Pete and my friends and later, my kids. So that's an interesting twist to this combining of family and home. Do you find home or do you create home or is it both? I found Pete to be my home AND Pete and I created a home together.

Home as Relationship and Community: Had you asked me in 1976, where I would make a home in the USA, I would not have said, "Minnesota." It is not my climate at all. I want something closer to the tropics. It is as far away from the ocean as you can get in this country. There are no mountains. My siblings aren't here. But after 39 years of living here, I find myself feeling more and more home. And the reason is not the climate or the river but the people. As time goes by, I find more and more that people are my home. Church is home because it's full of people earnestly searching for a common way of love and forgiveness, people supporting each other, accepting each other. Community song circles are home because they are full of people, bravely willing to live authentically and wholly, offering their pure hearts in song. Writing circles are home, for the same reason. My close friends are home because they invite me to be me. My children and grandchildren are home, each carrying a piece of me in them. And each of them loving me in spite of my mistakes. My husband, Pete, is home. With him, I am truly and wholly myself, in all my dark and light moods. With him. I am home.  Home is the people. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else now because so many of my people live here.

And that brings me back to the corona virus crisis and the order to stay home. I have had moments of naked loneliness because I'm not seeing my people. And I've had moments of deep gratitude that I have people to miss. I've also had time to find the home, the place of center and grounding in me and had time to breathe into the home of my soul. I'm not happy about the crisis but I am grateful for the invitation to breathe within. The question is can I be at home in my heart, soul? Can I be at peace and not afraid of just being with myself? Can we be home in just being? and not always doing?

Other definitions of home: Diana Butler Bass has several definitions of home in her chapter. Here are some of them:

• Home is more than a house (p. 166).
• Home is the geography of our souls (p. 166).
• Home is a place where we belong (p. 167).
• Home is a place where God meets us (p. 167)
• Home is where the heart is (p 172)…the abiding place of our affections.
• Home is the location that shelters our lived experience, but also holds our memories and shapes our desires. (p. 172)

What is your definition of home? How are you being invited to "stay home" during this time of isolation and social distancing? Where do you find home? Where do you live? Who invites you to feel safe at home within?

I pray that as you leand into this time of social distancing, you find peace and health in your home and in your heart.

~Jules

In Honor of Hans Day

 

Hans Day -- September 28, 2019

Tomorrow is 19 years since our dear Hans left this earth. [Hans Peter ~ born 3/24/1989, died 9/28/2000]  He lived with us for 11 years, 6 months and 4 days. In that time, we learned the importance of expressing our passions with each other. Hans was an enthusiastic soul who also had a fiery temper. He left so much passion behind for all of us. He also left us with "I like you and I love you!" as his expression of affection.

In memory of our dear Hans Peter, please find a child (they don't have to be yours) to hug, call, or post in a text or social media. Tell one child today how amazing they are, how creative, how joyful. Look in their eyes and tell them, "I like you and I love you." 

If you cannot find a child, or even an adult to honor, look in the mirror and tell the person you see there how incredible they are and try saying, "I like you and I love you." Try believing it.

It won't take long. Hans & I will be forever grateful. Let's let world's children know how valuable they are! Let's allow them and ourselves some love, some like!

Thanks for your help!

in honor of the TINY HOUSE movement!

One of our traditions at Christmas time is Family Day, which we celebrate on a day when everyone can make it. This year, we went bowling, played with trains, and made gingerbread houses among other things.

Here is the "gingerbread house" village we made a week ago. [note: I didn't splurge and make real gingerbread this year..we just used graham crackers and accessories]. You'll see that some people thought big, and some smaller. 

So this morning (a week later mind you!) I found a bulb of frosting sitting on my kitchen counter, that still had some left. Suddenly I was inspired  to make one more. So here, in honor of tiny houses everywhere, is my one-minute creation.

I guess the Teddy Grahams decided to move to a tiny house!

THE MORNING AFTER

It is the morning after. The house is empty and quiet and messy. My heart is the same.

The quiet and dark are such a contrast to the many hours I spent celebrating with others over the last week or so. It is such a contrast that my heart feels a little whiplash, like someone has slammed on the brakes. That’s how the morning after often feels, like an abrupt change. But there is gift in it. It is that in the quiet stillness, I have an opportunity to reflect on the gifts of the season and the gatherings.

As usual, we had a number of events that filled our calendar. Here are the main events:

• December 19^th—Pete & I drove down to conduct a Dragonfly Project Volunteer event with 55 teenagers in Blue Earth, MN. I realize now that was our chance to share the gift of our son Hans in the Christmas Season. It was sweet and the teenagers were stellar, making some 1200 cards ready for sharing hope with others.

• We gathered three times with family
• December 21^st a few gathered to celebrate my Other Mother, Charlotte, on her 87^th birthday: After all these years, Charlotte still looks out on the world with loving eyes and sees the best and gives her best with grace, with patience, with kindness. She raised one of the most amazing functional communities of people, alongside her husband and his brother and sister-in-law.  2 couples, 11 children between them on one farm. I am so grateful to have married into this and been able to tap into those deep roots. Thank you Charlotte!
• December 24^th, Christmas Eve, 30 adults and 11 children, age 5 and under, gathered with Charlotte again, to celebrate Christ’s birth and each other. What struck me at this event was all the little ones and their joy with the simplest of things. And no crying or complaining from children or adults!
• December 30^th: Family Day…Pete and I had the deep joy of spending the entire day with just our children and grandchildren; just 10 of us. We went bowling, made gingerbread houses, played a game and ate lots of food. And the 3 yr olds led us in gift giving, insisting that the adults open their presents with their help. They are all such beautiful souls and I am so grateful they live close enough to spend time together.

• December 31^st: we rang in the new year by spending a couple hours with a good friend and her extended family and her dear granddaughter. Then back home, we enjoyed some time catching up with a couple other friends. Each friendship, a treasure and a gift that will sustain us as we cross the threshold into the new year. 

Each of these celebrations was filled with regular people, people who by blood or marriage or friendship have become community together. And though the celebrations vary widely and sometimes involve spilled milk or forgotten bread, they provide these communities with a chance to come together again and renew their bond. And that seems to be the most important gift of this chaos we call Christmas and New Years…to to be together, to remember Jesus is Emmanuel who came to “be with us.” I know that this community bond and this Holy Presence is what will sustain me through the mystery and chaos of another year. And so I give thanks.

Though the morning after can make one feel a bit wonky, I am glad it gave me this time, to sit and ponder the season one more time before moving on to the new year. And this is currently my intent for the new year, to take more time to sit and ponder the simple gifts; especially the gift of family, friends and community.

I wish you all a sweet and wonderful 2019, filled with the love, laughter and joy of community. Peace be with you all!

Love, jules

The Pierced Heart and the Rainbow

September 26, 2018 (another year goes by)

Two days from now, September 28, 2018, marks the 18th anniversary of Hans Day, otherwise known as Hans' day of transformation, otherwise known as death. Hans is our third son (out of four). He died at the age of 11 1/2  of  brain cancer (glioblastoma mulitforme).

We had fought it with all we had for 16 months. Those 16 months were the best (yes, the sweetest) and the hardest our family has ever lived through. Hans gave the fight his best, best self....taking time to be grateful to doctors, nurses and chaplains that cared for him, taking time to laugh and joke and enjoy his life, even in the hospital. He was a beautiful soul, who in his short life managed to connect to the infinite presence that connects us all, otherwise known as Love, or God.

Today, Hans' two older brothers and one younger are grown men. Jacob is a teacher, married with a lovely 3-year-old daughter. Karl is also a teacher, married with a two lovely children, a 3-year-old boy and a baby daughter. Luke is a software engineer, single, and making music in his basement. These three young men are as stunning to me today as the day they were born. They are amazing human beings, full of light, joy, grace, kindness and love. I like to think that Hans would be on that same team, if he was here. I like to think he's doing victory dances everyday as he watches them grow from his view on the other side.

On my way home from breakfast with a good friend this morning, I was driving through Karl's neighborhood and couldn't resist stopping by just to see him and his little family. A few minutes and a few hugs was enough to give me that shot of fresh air to fill that huge empty Hans-sized space in the center of me. (How grateful I am, I could live this close)

Your kind empathy is well received but I need to say I wouldn't trade places with anyone. I'm a lucky wife, mama and grandma. In addition to an incredible husband (Pete), I have been given incredible children to care for. These four boys, men now, are such a joy. They are such a precious gift, that some days the love just cuts right through my heart, like one of cupid's arrows. My tears are filled with both the rain of the storm and the water from a fresh spring. Today is one of those days. It's so hard to describe that I often don't attempt it but today I really wanted to try.

Maybe it's like the moment when the sun comes through your window. My heart is a prism hanging in the window and the moment I think of my boys, of Hans and his dear brothers, as babes and men, is the moment that the sun hits the prism and all colors of the rainbow explode and spread everywhere in the room. It is a piercing moment. It's a releasing moment. It's a celebration and welcoming of all that has been and that will be, because these boys came into my life.

I do miss Hans. I wish he was here. And some days I miss the old days, making macaroni and cheese, driving car pools, sick days, watching baseball games and playing brain games in the car. But none of us needs to go back. We are all better people for the experience of knowing and having Hans part of our lives. I am a better person for knowing his brothers as well. It is a magical as the moment that light goes through the prism or the light shines through rain. Somehow, God took my love and my grief and made my life into a rainbow of color.

If this doesn't make sense to you, that's okay. It will always be hard to describe. It is enough to know that some of you are out there, sharing the rainbow with me.
It is enough to be in it for another year of life and love and pierced hearts.

~Jules

An Empty Nest Moment

Grief showed up again in a moment of memory. And once it starts, it comes flooding in. It's hard to stop.

Some grief is shared and some grief is just you and your heart touching a memory. The sometimes frustrating thing is that the memory is sweet. It's a reminder of what a great life I have had, how lucky I was to have such a sweet family, to be the mother of such amazing boys, even my dear Hans who left us seventeen years ago. Such sweet memories I have, of giggles and shouts and playing Legos and singing songs. Messes everywhere, that I worked way to hard to get cleaned up. Chores that I tried way to hard to get them to do. Even so, we had laughter and adventure, ballgames and homework and conversations or debates that taught me how to be a better me. I loved my life with my four young boys and later my three teenagers who are now grown men.

How does a life so full and so big suddenly become so small, just me and sometimes my husband, sitting quietly for hours working at home on a computer? Not another soul for hours. Just little me. Oh God, how I miss those days! And how grateful I am that I have those days to miss! 

And so the tears flow freely, letting some of my heart have its way. I am grateful and yet it is lonely in this cave of memory where only me and all those beautiful thoughts sit wondering how to savor it, and hang on so it doesn't feel like I lost it all.

Grief. It is a beautiful thing and it is a lonely thing. so it is best to take it in small doses. Then I go back to my current life with a renewed sense of gratitude that I still have a life to live and people to share it with and room to grow.


Sending peace and hugs to you for your moments of sorrow, however small they are.

Sending love,
jules

The Timelessness of Grief.

December 5, 2017

This is what grief is like.

It's a day like any other day, nothing special. It's not anyone's birthday or anniversary of anything. It's not a holiday; just nothing. I'm minding my own business, working from home as I have for nearly four years now. I'm not thinking of how sad my life is. I'm just thinking, how can I get my to-do list done.

Then out of nowhere, the feeling of him in the world pops into my heart. I try to brush it off and then I see his face, his sparkling eyes and hear his laughter. Suddenly tears are running down my face. I miss my little Hans sooo much! It is tangible, real! I feel like I lost him yesterday. And that's not unusual really. I feel like his brothers were just little boys yesterday too. This moment lasts for a minute or fifty. In that span of time, I relive the magic of having him, of getting to be his mother and now his ambassador to the world. I've been doing my best to tell them--live life fully, stay present and cherish your loved ones. Life is short! Enjoy it! I'm doing my best! In that moment, I know he is still here...in my heart but it still hurts too.

The gift and the loss are all wrapped up together. Pain and joy, loneliness and gratitude, disconnected and connected--all at the same time! That's what grief is like. 17 years is like a day and a day is like 17 years! It is timeless and messy! It doesn't have an agenda but to remind us how precious life is, how precious our loved ones are and to grab the moments when we can.

And one more thing...to be kind and patient with those who grieve. Letting go, remembering and celebrating while also feeling the pain....it all takes time and courage and strength. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. Everyone carries a heavy load.

GRATITUDE MONTH #30: final entry--PETE

I saved the BEST for last! Today I share with you my deep, humble gratitude for my husband, my partner, my friend Pete! I will spend eternity giving thanks to God for this man in my life! Love, hope, joy, peace---he lives all these things. And of course he drives me crazy too but I wouldn't want it any other way. 

I am so honored to call Pete my partner for life! Nothing has brought me more joy than living life with him, creating family, working together, finding home. 

Thank you God for Pete! I am so grateful!

Below is a poem I wrote for our 26th Anniversary, that I think is worth repeating--or re-Pete-ing.  Love you, Pete!

He is Pete

He is the tortoise who will win the race against the hare.

He is the knight in shining armor who will cut through the thorns

 and tangle of vines to wake the sleeping beauty.

He is the navigator, the one that keeps the ship from running aground.

His love runs deep, his commitment is unshakeable,

His tenderness is healing,

He is the rock on which this family stands.

He is the full moon on the calm sea.

He is the stars twinkling in my eyes.

He is the secret behind my smile.

He is the arms of God wrapping me in grace.

He is the depth of my joy and the muse of my wisdom.

His love nurtures me, gives me pleasure in life, and challenges me to grow with integrity.

He is the waves crashing on my shore.

He knows the way to unlock my wild passion.

He honors my gifts and worships my beauty as if I am really golden.

He sings my praises in the marketplace and whispers our love to his friends.

He is my heart of hearts, my joy of joys, the love of my life, the friend I could never imagine.

He is Pete.

July 25, 2007

Happy 26^th Anniversary!

Love, JJ

GRATITUDE MONTH #29: CHALLENGES

This is my second to the last entry in my Gratitude Month challenge. I've mentioned beauty, wonder, grace and sweet people but I haven't talked about challenges. What about life's mess and life's challenges? Am I grateful for those? Not always. Sometimes I run as fast as I can from those. But when I do stay, when I do welcome the challenge and sit with the discomfort, I find I am grateful. 

Wait! What? 

Yes, I said grateful. I'm thankful for the challenge.

Let me see if I can give a couple examples:

• In part of my life, I'm a computer, graphic design, desktop publisher, website person. That means that sometimes my coworker is a computer that refuses to listen to a word I say or do a single thing that I want. And that challenges me, to try harder, to think farther outside the box and sometimes to ask for help. It challenges me to ask for the excellence and connection I desire. And that's something I'm not good at in all of the my life. I have a lot to learn about asking for, demanding the excellence that I know can be (Not perfection but also not sloppiness). The idiot of a machine helps me celebrate the beautiful vision I have inside. 
• Some of my life is focused on relationships; family, extended family, friends. Relationships are messy at best and devastating at their worst. I hate conflict! But when I don't run, when I stay for the struggle and sit with the discomfort, when I stay to listen to the other's story and  ask the hard questions: "what is the most loving thing to do now? " I learn that there is oh so much more to love and grace than I could possibly have imagined.
• 150 boxes--Last year I went through and got rid of most of the contents of 150 boxes in my basement. That was very challenging, one of the hardest things I've ever done. It felt like ripping band aids off every day. I wanted so many times to just walk away and just let the stuff be there like it always had been. but I stayed and I kept at it and one day, I realized that letting go felt better than hanging on and now I have breathing space and an extra play space for my grandchildren. It gives me hope that i can let go again in the future and even more space will open up.
• Grief--I think the best challenge has been sitting with grief...both my own and others. We want so badly to smooth it over, make it feel better. But when I sit gently on the couch with grief for awhile, I realize how precious the people are that I've lost and my compassion for how much I've had to say goodbye grows. And self-compassion does a lot for healing and finding peace! I am grateful for all the wonderful lessons grief has taught me.

Yep! that's me hiking the cliffs at Devil's Lake St. Park, WI

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the hardest, mostly challenging things to work for have held the key to something I really value, something that ultimately I am deeply grateful for. Like climbing the mountain is worth it for the view and perspective AND to discover I am strong enough to get there!

Then suddenly the challenge becomes part of the abundance. And that's a divine grace in my book! I think that's part of how God's love redeems us, by turning the struggle into a gift.

GRATITUDE MONTH--#22: A THANKSGIVING PRAYER

Happy Thanksgiving!--part 3
I found this Thanksgiving Prayer in my archives. I wrote it on November 23, 2001, a year after Hans died. It is obvious the effect that the loss of this little boy had on me! I want to share it with you now. I know it doesn't suit everyone's situation. I know that this day is about family and togetherness and there are many who don't or can't have that for all kinds of reasons. I know, for some this day will be painful or a mixture of all kinds of feelings. Wherever you are today, I pray that you can reach your hand out at some point and touch someone and be able to say "thank you." In my humble opinion, life doesn't get any better than that. 

Here is my Thanksgiving Prayer/Meditation:

Take a deep breath,
Slow down your thoughts,
Take another deep breath, and another,
You have just taken in again God’s gift of life.
Every breath is a gift, a sacrament,
And every plant on the earth provides the oxygen,
And provides the food,
All are a part of the gift of life God gives us. 

In a few moments we will be strengthened
By the feast that we are about to eat.
We will be doubly blessed and doubly strengthened
By sharing this feast with loved ones. 

Reach out your hands now to the person on either side of you.
Feel the energy of the love that passes
Through your hands.
God has blessed us with this amazing fantastic family.
We thank God for the gift of those who we wish were with us here today.
Let us pray the table prayer
which Hans helped us learn from his prayer book. 

 “God we thank you for this food,For rest and home and all things good,For wind and rain and sun above,But most of all for those we love.” 

 While we continue holding hands
Each person look to the left and
Thank God for the person next to you
And for one other thing
Until the circle is complete.

GRATITUDE MONTH--#20: THE GIFT OF GRATITUDE

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!--Part 1
The Gifts of Gratitude and Time

On November 1st, I decided to take up this challenge, to write about something I'm thankful for every day in November, including the actual Thanksgiving day! This is harder than I thought it would be. With so many things to be thankful for, I figured it would be easy to just give thanks for one thing a day. And in a way, it is easy, but giving time to writing about those things isn't. And this makes me think, the world needs to slow down even more than I originally thought. We need time to notice those things, those people in our lives, those things that make life rich and abundant and sweet. And then we need time to sit and adore those things...lift them up out into the open....so that we can share that praise both with those we love and with others. 

A life of gratitude is a life of abundance. A life of gratitude is a life of peace and hope. For our own sanity, for our own honor, for the sake of others' hope and peace, we need this Thanksgiving time, every day. A life of gratitude leaves me feeling as if life is enough, I am enough, there is enough for everyone. Abundance indeed! And so I will continue on, (though I have missed a few days) with my commitment to writing about something I'm grateful for every day. 

Today, I am simply grateful for time; this time to sit and write for a moment! What a luxury it is! Time is illusive and hard to grasp so I give thanks this moment for this moment! So grateful!

I invite you to cherish whatever time you have tomorrow to stop, ponder and just give thanks! for life! for love! for all of it!

GRATITUDE MONTH--#18: CAMILLA'S CHRISTMAS CACTUS

These are my mom's, Camilla's, Christmas Cactus plants. We inherited them when she moved into the nursing home...a long time ago. (She died in 2007, 10 years ago) I don't know how old they are but likely 15 to 20 years old. I have never moved them to new pots. They just keep on living and I couldn't be more grateful, especially for the way they live!

Simple succulents with 
sections of small green leaves
sitting patiently in their tiny pots of old soil
trusting me to water them 
and the sun to shine
waiting, waiting in silence
staying green throughout the year, 
living on what little they get
then as darkness closes in on the year 
and the days grow short
the season shifts to cold 
and colder and holidays
then...then bright pink buds emerge
exploding like fireworks 
at the ends of the branches
shining their joy all over 
my gray cold fall days
bringing memories of 
Camilla's green thumb, her joy
bringing expectations
 of celebrations to come

Christmas Cactus
I give thanks for you!

GRATITUDE MONTH--#17: FRIDAYS with the GRANDS

Friday Fun for 4! or....Fridays with the Grands!

In September 2016, as Pete was backing off of work and I was in the middle of helping with daycare for the grand-kids, we began a new tradition in our family. We asked if the grands could come to our house on Fridays--both of them! They are Solveig & Wendell, first cousins, 4 months apart in age. We LOVE having them over for our Friday Fun days!

At this stage of the tradition, it goes something like this:

Breakfast is full of giggles and feet pushing against the table. Soon after there are toys all over the floor, the favorites changing as they kiddos change. Solveig leads the frequent visits to the kitchen for more snacks and meals. Wendell leads the effort to turn on all the lights in the house, however high the switches are. Feeding the fish, legos, animals, cars, balls, playing piano, etc. They love playing with us and over the months get closer and closer to playing with each other. Sometimes we even get them both napping at once in the afternoon, sometimes. Two such different kids, both precious and beautiful. We love this time to get to know them, for them to know us, to stop our serious adult lives and just be grandparents. How lucky we are! And there are lessons to learn.

These little ones live in the moment, ALWAYS! They stay in the moment even though every moment is about growing, becoming, learning how to be more me in the next moment. They are spontaneous, inviting us to give in to our urges to run and jump, to suddenly leap for a hug or grab a book to enjoy together. They find joy in the simplest things and sometimes the messy things---jumping on couches, throwing toys, tasting and dropping new foods on the floor. They live a life not measured but embraced. Life is now.

Two who are two have a lot of energy and curiosity. And these two grandparents love every minute!

I am so grateful, so thankful for this gift of Fridays with the Grands!

GRATITUDE MONTH--#16: MY SISTER, VANGIE!

Today, I'm thankful for my sister Vangie! She was nearly 12 when I was born. She's short, looks like my dad's sisters. I'm tall, look my brothers I guess. She's got curly hair and bad eyesight. I've got straight hair and great eyesight but mom's bad hearing. Outside we look nothing alike but inside, there is so much connection! 

We also have 4 brothers but I have to say that without Vangie, our family would have lost track of each other long ago. Though we've never had much opportunity to live together or even near each other, I feel as close to her as I can imagine any sister being. She's the rock of this family. And what a beautiful rock she is! She's a mother, grandmother, artist, nurse, and a massage therapist. She makes laughing easy and the world light!

My sister has been my second mother, my adviser and when I grew up she became my playmate and friend. If it hadn't been for her unfailing effort to stay in touch over the long distances, and long periods without even seeing each other, I wouldn't know my family at all! 

My sister is love itself! I'm so grateful for this incredible person, this stunning woman. Thanks Vangie! I am so grateful!

love, jules

GRATITUDE MONTH--#12: MY OTHER MOTHER

I am grateful for Charlotte Bonde!

I call her my "Other Mother" because mother-in-law does not do her justice. I met my husband when we were yet 18 and shortly after that I met his mother when he took me home with him to attend his brother Bill's wedding. That makes 39 years that I've been one of Charlotte's many children.

I couldn't ask for a better Other Mother! She's kind and generous, patient, open to change as it is needed, and deeply committed to her family and her faith. She's always been active in her community as she has time and energy for. And she keeps her door open to her family, almost 24-7! And on top of it, she treated my mother as one of her own after my dad died and included her in all of the Bonde festivities. She listens to me. She talks to me. She even reads my blog! Wow!

That was above and beyond the call of Other Motherhood. I hold her up as one of my examples to follow of how to live in the world, to live in community and in faith and love.

So today, I'm grateful for my Other Mother, Charlotte Bonde!

GRATITUDE MONTH--DAY #10: MY MADAGASCAR/MISSIONARY FAMILY

That's me...Little Julie, front row, 4th from the right, white dress, white sandals. This is either 1st or 2nd grade for me.

This is the American School in Ft. Dauphin (now Tolagnaro), Madagascar. All the parents of these kids are Lutheran missionaries. This was boarding school for all us Lutheran missionary kids. We lived here together about nine months of the year (minus Christmas break) while we went to school. The adults in the back rows were our house parents and teachers. From year to year, as people came and went, the group changed a little but mostly these are the people I grew up knowing. They're part of my 2nd family and I am grateful! They're not perfect but they are, in my heart, family. We took care of each other, played together and prayed together. It was hard being away from our parents and I know I wouldn't have survived it at all without some of these people. 

This is where I learned first learned what it means to be family, to be community, to live in harmony. This is where I first learned about friendship. They're a crazy bunch, these missionary kids, but they're my bunch. And I am one of them.

It would take a book to tell all the stories, but today, I just wanted to say, I'm grateful for this experience, for these people, my 2nd family, my Madagascar/missionary family!

GRATITUDE MONTH--DAY #9: MY BOYS

My boys! Oldest to youngest, they are Jacob, Karl, Hans, & Luke

These four amazing human beings are my children! And I couldn't be more grateful! They are each as precious as the earth itself, as light and sun and song.

They have taught me, no brought me to be myself, challenged me to live with love, with authenticity and grace. It's impossible to parent without grace and they have offered me more than I could have imagined possible. Hans died at 11, about a year after this photo was taken. And the other three have grown into such amazing adults! I continue to learn from them to be kind, generous, loving and respectful of myself, of others and the earth!

Even Hans, continues to give to us, to teach us to be joyful, to live in the moment, to treasure what we have and celebrate those we love!

I am honored, humbled and so grateful! Jacob, Karl, Hans, Luke! My boys!