DINING WITH MY PLANT FRIENDS

March 2, 2021 ---Meantime my indoor garden is super excited about the return of the sun and more daylight. This is my dining room. We get to eat with these lovelies every day. My plant friends bring me so much joy. I understand now why my mom paid so much attention to her houseplants. In fact, both my Christmas cacti and my African violets are from my mother. Thanks Mom! A living legacy filled with joy! Love you always Mom! Love you always houseplants! 

Happy Mother's Day!

As far back as I can remember (5 years old, maybe) I wanted to be a mom.

And then I met Pete (at college) and I knew right away he'd be a great dad

And then we were lucky enough to have 4 amazing wonderful boys and the means for me to stay home full time as they grew (about 20 years)

Nothing else in my life will ever compare to the joy, the challenge and the wonder of this gift of my children. I am so grateful to Pete for partnering in parenting with me! It's been the best adventure!

Mom & me, only 1 day old.

And, I owe my gratitude to these boys (Jacob, Karl, Hans, Luke) who in many, many ways helped transform me into the person I am today. Thank you! Thank you! I am still learning from them as they become such incredible men.

I also owe deep gratitude to my own mother, Camilla, who was the first to teach me the tenderness of the heart! 

And I am deeply grateful to my sister, Vangie, who in many ways was my 2nd mother. In many ways, she has been the one who has kept our family connected. 

My sister & me,  around 9 months

And then there are my other mothers-- Ethyl Anderson, Mama Jim, Vivien Wells, Grandma Quanbeck, Lorraine Bergstrand Schneider and of course the amazing and fabulous Charlotte Bonde, who raised my husband and has cared for me in more ways than I can begin to list. And there are many others who nurtured me in the absence of my mother all those years at boarding school and all these years since her passing. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I am still learning from you all as I reflect on the task of nurturing and caring for others; including myself.

Happy Mothers Day to all of you who nurture and care for others in the world!

GRATITUDE MONTH--#12: MY OTHER MOTHER

I am grateful for Charlotte Bonde!

I call her my "Other Mother" because mother-in-law does not do her justice. I met my husband when we were yet 18 and shortly after that I met his mother when he took me home with him to attend his brother Bill's wedding. That makes 39 years that I've been one of Charlotte's many children.

I couldn't ask for a better Other Mother! She's kind and generous, patient, open to change as it is needed, and deeply committed to her family and her faith. She's always been active in her community as she has time and energy for. And she keeps her door open to her family, almost 24-7! And on top of it, she treated my mother as one of her own after my dad died and included her in all of the Bonde festivities. She listens to me. She talks to me. She even reads my blog! Wow!

That was above and beyond the call of Other Motherhood. I hold her up as one of my examples to follow of how to live in the world, to live in community and in faith and love.

So today, I'm grateful for my Other Mother, Charlotte Bonde!

Here's to 30 more years!

Thirty years ago, yesterday, a wonderful and miraculous thing happened. I became a mother. I remember the instant of Jacob's birth like it was yesterday. It had been a long and arduous labor and then he came. and instead of a cry, he began trying to talk. He kept trying to say something, in clearing your throat sort of way until Pete put him right down next to my cheek and I greeted him for the first time. "Hello Jacob." He fell silent and we just stared at each other forever or maybe just a minute. I can't tell the time on this. I'm still in awe of this beautiful human being that I get to call my son.

But thirty years? Really? Has it really been that long? Yes, I guess it has. We've been through a lot together and we've been through a lot on our own. I believe so strongly in family and in community. STrong family and community relationships are essential to a happy and healthy life. And I also believe strongly in allowing each person time for a relationship with themselves, for independence. Sometimes I think I may have erred to far in that direction with my kids. Truly, they could each go off and live easily without me and that actually hurts a little. Perhaps the hardest part of parenting is not the raising of the children but the letting go and allowing them to not need us. sigh!

I'm not taking this blog entry to any particular place of wisdom or joy. I just woke up this morning realizing I hadn't taken time for this yesterday and whether my son needs it or not, I need to stop and say how grateful I am for him, for making me a mother. Nothing has brought me more joy, more love and more understanding than being a mother. No job, no other life event will ever be able to top the moment I became mother! There isn't enough superlative to say how grateful I am!

Nevertheless, I can't help but long for many more years to be a mother, even if only to adult children who are very independent. Is that greedy of me? oh well, than call me greedy because I will relish every chance I get to continue loving my son and his brothers as much as a mother can.

Happy 30th Birthday Jacob! Happy 30 years of parenting to me! and here's to many, many more for both of us!

All my love, mom