Dreaming--Part 2

my second definition of DREAM is: a mish-mash of thoughts put together in some cosmic sitcom while we sleep.

I don't know how it happened but that Sunday I found myself worshipping in an old school gym; a scratched wooden floor under the folding chairs.In concentric circles we alternately stood in praise and song or sat silently listening. I didn't realized until half-way through the service that I was the only white person in attendance. Even then, the realizatioin seemeed only momentarily significant. My heart tingled as the Spirit moved in these people. They were literally shining with joy by the end.

Right after the last "Amen!", a big-bosomed woman came over and introduced herself. "I"m Loretta, she said, Can I show you around?"

"I'm Jules and Yes!" was my quick response.

Lorretta led me to the coffee corner where we grabbed a donut and then headed down the hall toward the Sunday School area. Along the way she introduced me to everyone. My joy grew with each meeting. The people here embraced me so fully. I felt seen, transparent even and yet there was no judgment in the air. We met the children too and then circled back to the coffee corner where a group of people waited for us to sit with them.

No sooner had I sat and Carver, a man in his 60's, asked "so will you do it? will you come Miss Jules?" "yes" chimed in Mary on the other side of the circle, :"Please say YES!"

In that moment, I suddenly understood why i was there and what they wanted from me. And how could I say no? It all felt so right. I could scarecely hold my diginity as I burst, "Of course! YES! Yes, I"ll be your pastor!"

And then I woke up back in my warm bed, with this smile on my face and joy in my heart. What a sweet dream of affirmation!

later, I reflected on this dream, I didn't suddenly feel the need to enroll  in the nearest seminary. I just felt it was a great reminder that my call here on earth is to bring love, care, and to be present to others. Everything else I get busy with is just fluff or context for me to do that. 

"Love the whole world as a mother loves her only child" ~ Buddha

Dreaming--Part 1

my first definition of DREAM is: our heart's longing for itself expressed through color, sound, emotion and art, expressed through the gift of imagination mixed with hope and love.

What do I dream about in this way?

My heart longs for what my body does not currently know: health and fitness. Deep within the thoughts and feelings at my core I long for, dream about, being strong again in body; in shape enough to climb a mountain or run on the beach. In this place of dreaming I have returned to the body that knows joy from being more than from food or survival. In that body I am playful and have energy to give my  family, friends, and even strrangers who cross my path.

Whoa! Deeper still, deeper than than healthy body is a spirit that has found peace and joy in just being here. The effort to find balance is less of a struggle and more of a dance or a sweet song. In this place, I know who I am and that is enough. I can share but it doesn't need to be shared. I can receive but I don't need to get anything.

All that I sense is Love.

The words to Lia Falls song are appropriate here:

"Deep in my heart, deep in my heart, deep in my heart, deep in my heart."

sitting downwind

so here i sit
downwind from eden
my feet dangling off the edge of my bed
aching with plantar faciitus
my ears ringing with a decade of tinnitus
my tummy bulging with too much sitting
my shoulder feeling the weight of too many burdens

no! i'm not old,
i'm just sitting a little too far from eden
down here where even the love-filled heart
gets her thoughts tangled in the mess
of having more to do than she expected she'd be able
of wishing she could take away the pain
of loneliness and disconnection that plagues the innocent
of loving more than she deserves

then friendship reaches out a hand
reason offers wisdom that encourages
family smiles at my presence here
the passing tree offers her loving protection
oceans sing their hearts truth
a dog wags her tail when I enter
the ground rises to support my large weight
and the sun lets me rise with it

suddenly getting into eden seems unnecessary
if in all this mess I am still
a note on the scale
of life's symphony
sigh

~jules, march 11, 2013