WHAT IS IT ABOUT TREES?

TREES

What is about trees 

that grabs my attention so?

BRANCHES reaching up and out

perfectly organized 

or tangled in a crochet knot

against the blue sky

BARK that thickens 

and hardens and breaks

as the heart bursts open

as life fattens the tree's torso

ROOTS that grab on and hold

reaching deep and wide for stability

for nutrients and water

LEAVES budding long before spring

unfold at just the right moment

coloring everything to a rich warm velvety green

and then fire up orange just before they fall away

SHADOWS of the wise and wonderful neighbors

cast intriguing reflections on snow and sand and water

tempting me to look up to them

for inspiration for my perfectly organized and tangled mess

for courage to allow my heart to crack open as I grow

and a reminder to reach deep and wide.

2/19/2014

 

Grounded: Day 1

Ash Wednesday

In my tradition, it is the practice to have worship in the evening on Ash Wednesday, during which ashes in the shape of a cross are rubbed on our foreheads. The ashes are often made by burning the branches of the Christmas trees used during the Advent/Christmas. I have always admired that connection between the birth and the death of Jesus even if it is a bit contrived.

Today is Ash Wednesday, 2020 and once again I have ashes on my forehead. Tomorrow, my book group is going to begin reading "Grounded: Finding God in the World" by Diana Butler Bass. I'm kind of excited that tonight I got grounded, as in dirt rubbed into my face; a reminder of the reality that life is death and death is life. It is a reminder to me that I am of the earth, and that I also am part of the cycle of life that includes dying so that life might continue.

It's a mystery for sure, this dying to live thing. And I don't have all the answers. And I'm sure Diana Butler BAss doesn't either. But I look forward to this time of Lent, when I will give the inward journey a bit more attention and intention.

The term "grounded" is interesting. What does it mean to you to be "grounded?"
What grounds you? How can you build a practice of grounding into your life, a way for you to remember the source of your life, a way to reach in and find nourishment for your soul?

--just jules, 2/26/2020

When in Doubt, Be Lazy!

Some days are like this. It's not personal really but it sure feels that way after awhile....

So, it's raining...all day...the kind of rain that should feel cozy and sweet...but...but...argh!

So I decide it's a perfect day to work at my computer...but the computer is slow, won't do anything I want. I've restarted 4 times. the app i want to use just keeps stalling. so I try something else. that's stalling too. I'm starting to get very irritated (that's putting it somewhat milder than the truth).

So I decide the excess anger will be best used cleaning my room. I have to change my sheets because the bottom sheet tore, because...well, never mind. That story is not worth telling. I change the sheets but not without yelling a few colorful phrases. (yes, I do swear sometimes!)

And then I decide to vacuum. But wait, I have to get something from downstairs first. That's when I hear the water alarm. Our basement is leaking! and Pete just put down the rugs yesterday, thinking it was safe!

Then all that extra energy (ahem, anger) leaves the still messy bedroom and heads to the basement to get stuff off the floor. It's quite wet! I work on that as long as it takes two (Pete and I working together) and then I head back to the vacuuming. It starts out okay but I notice it's not sucking things up very good. I turn the vacuum over and all the dirt comes pouring out again! I have no idea how to fix, which is my definition of broken.

Then back to the computer, where the app I want to use is still not working, a complete circle of wasted time and energy. 

Some days are like this! I don't think it is personal but it sure feels like the universe is conspiring to test my fortitude and patience.

So I do the only left that I can do...write down my frustrations. And here I am writing. And just like that my mouth gets a smirk. I'm starting to be amused at how insanely confusing life can be. It suddenly strikes me how no matter how good your intentions are, no matter how flexible and adaptable, you just can't control the outcomes. Sometimes you just don't get dealt the right cards. It's not personal, it's just life.

I did have one thing go well today...the part before I tried to be productive, the lazy party was stunning. I was awesome at that and it went very well. 

So now, with a big grin on my face, I'm thinking...WHEN IN DOUBT, BE LAZY!

Best wishes on your day!

~just jules, 5/27/19

REFLECTING ON 60!

Jules, Julie, JJ, Julieannabelle--thru 60 years!

Reflecting on and with 60!

Yesterday, a new number came knocking at the door. I said, "who is it?" "60!" was the response. I opened the door and welcomed her in. I asked what she was doing here and how had she chosen my door. She said, "that is what happens when you live this long and it's your birthday! I show up." And then I asked what she had to offer me on this momentous occasion. She said, "Love, Joy, and Gratitude." Intrigued, I asked if she would stay for tea so we talk more. We talked for hours and I gained some new insight into this new number in my life.

We talked about the older women in my life and what they did after 60 arrived. I was touched by this review of glorious womanhood in my family and friends. We laughed at the silly things I had done, some of which were stupid mistakes. We covered all the good and the hard. We talked about the things I carried forward with me into this time, things that have always been my treasures and have grown deep in me. We read some of my poetry from those other decades and found pieces of these treasures there. We talked about my dreams and my current loves in my life...great friends, good work, a wonderful husband, amazing children, beautiful grandchildren and God's love and grace.

After all that, I was still tempted to complain a little, to say I "should" have more to show for my sixty years, to say I should be younger still...but 60 stopped me. That's when she said something I hadn't expected. 

She said, "Your earned your years, fair and square...given all the struggles, parenting, friendships, jobs, marriage and extended family, given all the loss, the grieving, the heartache, illness, surgery, worry, given all  the accomplishments, the prayers and praises and thousands of photographs....You've earned those sixty years fair and square. They are NOT an abomination but a gift! How lucky you are to still be here and have hope for more and desire still for all of it! I'll be happy to stay and celebrate with you. Perhaps we can even have a party."

I laughed! and nodded yes. Of course! I am glad I opened the door and invited her in, although I suspect she might have found another way in anyway. I look forward to spending more time with this year, pondering who I want to continue growing into, pondering the fun and the joy and the adventures I still have coming. 

I am certain that part of that pondering will be focused on the many people who have crossed my path and offered me this rich and glorious life!

If you're reading this, you're likely one of those people. Thank you for showing up, for sharing your life with me! I am so grateful!

Happy 60th to me!

love, jules

The Timelessness of Grief.

December 5, 2017

This is what grief is like.

It's a day like any other day, nothing special. It's not anyone's birthday or anniversary of anything. It's not a holiday; just nothing. I'm minding my own business, working from home as I have for nearly four years now. I'm not thinking of how sad my life is. I'm just thinking, how can I get my to-do list done.

Then out of nowhere, the feeling of him in the world pops into my heart. I try to brush it off and then I see his face, his sparkling eyes and hear his laughter. Suddenly tears are running down my face. I miss my little Hans sooo much! It is tangible, real! I feel like I lost him yesterday. And that's not unusual really. I feel like his brothers were just little boys yesterday too. This moment lasts for a minute or fifty. In that span of time, I relive the magic of having him, of getting to be his mother and now his ambassador to the world. I've been doing my best to tell them--live life fully, stay present and cherish your loved ones. Life is short! Enjoy it! I'm doing my best! In that moment, I know he is still here...in my heart but it still hurts too.

The gift and the loss are all wrapped up together. Pain and joy, loneliness and gratitude, disconnected and connected--all at the same time! That's what grief is like. 17 years is like a day and a day is like 17 years! It is timeless and messy! It doesn't have an agenda but to remind us how precious life is, how precious our loved ones are and to grab the moments when we can.

And one more thing...to be kind and patient with those who grieve. Letting go, remembering and celebrating while also feeling the pain....it all takes time and courage and strength. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. Everyone carries a heavy load.

GRATITUDE MONTH #30: final entry--PETE

I saved the BEST for last! Today I share with you my deep, humble gratitude for my husband, my partner, my friend Pete! I will spend eternity giving thanks to God for this man in my life! Love, hope, joy, peace---he lives all these things. And of course he drives me crazy too but I wouldn't want it any other way. 

I am so honored to call Pete my partner for life! Nothing has brought me more joy than living life with him, creating family, working together, finding home. 

Thank you God for Pete! I am so grateful!

Below is a poem I wrote for our 26th Anniversary, that I think is worth repeating--or re-Pete-ing.  Love you, Pete!

He is Pete

He is the tortoise who will win the race against the hare.

He is the knight in shining armor who will cut through the thorns

 and tangle of vines to wake the sleeping beauty.

He is the navigator, the one that keeps the ship from running aground.

His love runs deep, his commitment is unshakeable,

His tenderness is healing,

He is the rock on which this family stands.

He is the full moon on the calm sea.

He is the stars twinkling in my eyes.

He is the secret behind my smile.

He is the arms of God wrapping me in grace.

He is the depth of my joy and the muse of my wisdom.

His love nurtures me, gives me pleasure in life, and challenges me to grow with integrity.

He is the waves crashing on my shore.

He knows the way to unlock my wild passion.

He honors my gifts and worships my beauty as if I am really golden.

He sings my praises in the marketplace and whispers our love to his friends.

He is my heart of hearts, my joy of joys, the love of my life, the friend I could never imagine.

He is Pete.

July 25, 2007

Happy 26^th Anniversary!

Love, JJ

GRATITUDE MONTH--#24: SUNRISES & SUNSETS

My favorite color is sunset! Indeed! 

The bright orange and pink of a sunrise can send my nightmares away and invite me to the joy of a new day. What's not to like about a day that starts with a brilliant feast of color--apricot, cantaloupe, mango, coral, salmon, tangerine, purple, pink, lavender, pomegranate, raspberry--the list goes on and on!

And then, as if to reassure me all is well, the day ends with another feast of colors in the sky! My husband, who knows how much this feeds my soul, calls me on his way home to remind me to watch the sunset! It is such a treasure. 

I've literally taken hundreds of photos of both the sunrise and sunset. I will never get tired of watching the sun play with the clouds and sky. I will never tire of this endless gift of color and light! Never!

It doesn't matter where you are--the sun is always rising and setting. It's nice to have an ocean or a mountain but you don't need one. A cityscape is enlightened as well as a lake! The farm field, the roof of the humble barn, the trees and snow in winter, the skyscrapers, and your face all reflect the glow of the golden star that blesses us every day!

Wallowing in the joy, 

jules

GRATITUDE MONTH--#17: FRIDAYS with the GRANDS

Friday Fun for 4! or....Fridays with the Grands!

In September 2016, as Pete was backing off of work and I was in the middle of helping with daycare for the grand-kids, we began a new tradition in our family. We asked if the grands could come to our house on Fridays--both of them! They are Solveig & Wendell, first cousins, 4 months apart in age. We LOVE having them over for our Friday Fun days!

At this stage of the tradition, it goes something like this:

Breakfast is full of giggles and feet pushing against the table. Soon after there are toys all over the floor, the favorites changing as they kiddos change. Solveig leads the frequent visits to the kitchen for more snacks and meals. Wendell leads the effort to turn on all the lights in the house, however high the switches are. Feeding the fish, legos, animals, cars, balls, playing piano, etc. They love playing with us and over the months get closer and closer to playing with each other. Sometimes we even get them both napping at once in the afternoon, sometimes. Two such different kids, both precious and beautiful. We love this time to get to know them, for them to know us, to stop our serious adult lives and just be grandparents. How lucky we are! And there are lessons to learn.

These little ones live in the moment, ALWAYS! They stay in the moment even though every moment is about growing, becoming, learning how to be more me in the next moment. They are spontaneous, inviting us to give in to our urges to run and jump, to suddenly leap for a hug or grab a book to enjoy together. They find joy in the simplest things and sometimes the messy things---jumping on couches, throwing toys, tasting and dropping new foods on the floor. They live a life not measured but embraced. Life is now.

Two who are two have a lot of energy and curiosity. And these two grandparents love every minute!

I am so grateful, so thankful for this gift of Fridays with the Grands!

Free Again

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

my African violet celebrating freedom to bloom in winter

Today marks the first day in awhile that both Pete and I feel free. Not free in the sense that we have no obligation but at long last, are not confined by cancer, sinus infection or nasty viruses to a particular diet or bed or part of the house. 

Pete, had Phase 2 have his Papillary Thyroid Cancer treatment the last four weeks which ended yesterday. This consisted of three weeks of a low iodine diet followed by three days of thryoid hormone shots. After that he swallowed a radioactive iodine pill which forced him to stay overnight in the hospital and then be sequestered in his own part of the house once I brought him home. We could look at each other from a distance but couldn't touch. Pete couldn't touch any of the utensils I was going to use to eat so I had to serve him everything. As of today, this is all over!

Meantime, I contracted a nasty virus that led to a nasty sinus infection. For this same three weeks, I have spent more than half my time flat on my back in bed and some of my time caring for my grandson, who started antibiotics the same day as me. I figure in that time I used upwards of 600 kleenex tissues, and sucked about 75 cough drops, not to mention all the drugs and tea and soup. And I coughed so much I got sore stomach. Sunday was my first day out in public. I'm still blowing but the pain and headache are gone and the energy has returned. And no more cough drops!

So today, is freedom day! For the first time in ages, I feel like getting up and accomplishing something. And Pete was up and off to work at the crack of dawn. There's something so magical about the first day you wake up well after a long confinement. It feels as if I've been reborn, like I have been given another chance at life. Outside the temperatures are dropping below the zero mark, the land and some cars are freezing up and refusing to go. Inside, where all dreams are born, it is spring and green. The winter flowers are ready to burst. I'm having delusions of grandeur, of a clean house, one that is finely decorated for the holidays and all my papers sorted and my ducks in a row. I'm dreaming of holiday parties and gifts and writing my annual letter. Okay, that is a little grandiose but let me have my moment please!

Meantime, I hope each and everyone of you gets to stay healthy over the winter and holidays and that you have a moment to celebrate the freedom this health offers you. 

I'm free again! We are free again!

First steps

sweet chubby bare feet cutting their first paths across the hardwood floor arms out for balance and reaching my grandson learning to walk and climb and tumble and bump into things which I find so encouraging inspired again in my own journey to take the path accept the bumps and falls and rise again strong daring greatly sparkling eyes grin his mouth opens in wonder and I'm inspired again to enjoy the moment wallow in the joy of it living life as it comes
every step another adventure ~grandma jules, 8/25/16

TWO WORKSHOPS COMING THIS FALL

Hello my dear friends!

I am so excited to be offering 2 workshops this fall! Both workshops are designed to be experiential. You will get a chance to try some new ways of thinking, writing and listening. You will go home with things you can use in your everyday life.

• Saturday, September 24th--Writing as Spiritual Practice--come and have some fun writing to free your inner voice! This one is with yours truly--Julie (jules) Bonde CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION AND TO REGISTER. 

• Saturday, October 29th--The Art of Listening--join me and Joyce Finch as we practice better ways of listening and communicating! CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION AND TO REGISTER. 

I hope you will be able to join us! If you are interested in either of these but can't make these dates, please let me know at madjules@gmail.com. I/we plan to offer both workshops later. Also stay tuned for a Writing-Part 2 workshop.

blessings on your listening!
jules

Prelude to the Basement Excavation project.

Introduction: On February 10, Ash Wednesday, I made a commitment to dig in and clean out all the stuff in my basement. I've been putting it off for a long time and it seems like Lent is as good a time as any to make this attempt. I'm petrified and I'm determined. I thought I'd share some thoughts about the process along the way. If you believe in prayer or wishes, please send some courage my direction. Thanks, Jules

The Basement Excavation: Prelude

I take a few steps down, turn and go back up.
can I? once I start, will I have the strength? the courage to finish?
It will be an even bigger mess before I get to the good part.
I will have to face my grief, my nostalgia, my sentimentality.
I will have to face my tears.
Can I? Will I?
I really want to.
I really need to.
It feels like it is time.
I start down the stairs again, determined to go all the way down.
I wander around the boxes, overwhelmed as usual.
"Break it down" they always say as if it's that easy.
"Do it in small chunks" they say as if I even know what the chunks are.
"if you haven't used it in a year, you don't need it." they say, a saying which totally ignores all the precious relationships those things represent
People think stored stuff is just about cleaning.
It is much more than that.
No one tells you how to deal with the grief when it rises.
no one tells you how to let go.
It's like diving off the high dive.
I suspect I'll survive but I'm not sure it will feel as exhilarating as they say.
I open my first box and surprisingly find something I can toss right away.
There is hope.

God help me...
Here I go....beginning to uncover more than a decade of stuff buried in my basement.

I mean it God...Please help me!

BALANCING ON THE TEETER TOTTER OF LIFE

a lot of life seems to be about striking a balance

or surviving whichever end of the teeter totter (seesaw) we happen to be on

we can't all be up at the same time

which also means we can't all be down at the same time

thank balance for that

like the teeter totter
balance doesn't seem to come altogether

often it is in having periods of up
followed by periods of down
and so forth

for years i read hundreds of books and watched hundreds of movies

and now for years i've spent more time writing than reading

more living my own life
then watching someone else's

when i had four little kids to raise full time 

the struggle was to find moments of solitude

then they grew up, moved out
and now to find connection and community

for years I gave my heart too freely, almost spent too much

now my middle-aged body requires more self-care, more self-awareness

for ever wave, there must be an undercurrent that draws back into itself

for ever dollar spent, there must be a dollar earned

for ever mountain, there is a valley somewhere

from stillness comes motion

from noise comes silence

giving moves to receiving

stress moves to creativity or illness

busy goes on vacation

emotion longs for logic

science dances with mystery

idleness longs for purpose

the ebb and flow of life is always in motion

balance is not a static existence

it is a flow from one yoga posture to another

from a glimmer of light, to darkest night

from wakefulness to sleep 

from death to life

every day being born anew

sunrise replacing sunset

and so forth

balance in motion

yin and yang dancing with life

and underneath it all

love and grace flows on

so wherever you are today

may you feel the grace and love to move toward balance
~ jules, 3/9/2015

One Week

Sunday

peaceful sun dancing through the leaves
providing a laser show on my wall
early paddles splashing across the lake
wisdom and song and hearts shared
through the ritual of spiritual community
family time, home time, 
a campfire song fest for the 21st century
friend time, community time
Sunday (9/7/14)

Monday
cold gray gloomy day
the alarm of tasks unfinished wakes me
somber stillness outside
hyper vigilant multitasking dragonflies
flitting about my brain inside
focus and produce is the goal
yesterday's hours with a friend were too short
today's hours of work seem too long
Monday (9/8/14)

Tuesday
an obscure day of the week
not the beginning nor the hump, 
nor the celebrated end
just an in between place
where all is not lost and all is not found
where time seems to stall 
the clouds and rain seem to know 
so I'll tempt the chiropractor to fix the kinks
lunch on the sunshine of friendship
then jump back into the fray and take my chances
the gray continues with a threat of blessing
Tuesday  (9/9/14)

Wednesday 
hump implies that we climbed up 
and now we are going to slide down, easily
although i am doubting the "easy"
but perhaps it is a camel's hump or a Brahman cow
perhaps hump means this is where the reserves are
maybe today holds the extra something
that we need to get through the rest of the week
I'm going to look under ever seat cushion
and up in every tree
I bet I'll find that extra something somewhere
Wednesday (9/10/14)

Thursday 
almost there
excited spirits lifted
like the pink at sunrise
amid the breaking clouds
there is something so wonderful
about almost reaching the end
hope rises for a moment over coffee
or early happy hours at the local tavern
plans are being made for the fun ahead
is my attention span so small for the week?
the phone rings, the timer beeps
there is still work to be done
so I'm diving back in
resolving
sigh
Thursday (9/11/14)

  

Friday
Finally! Right?
the day God gets the most kudos for
because we say our work week ends here
but now that it's here am I satisfied?
I feel a slight shift in pressure
from getting work done 
to being able to have a good time
often forgetting to plan for my fun
and within that failure
is the gift of a quiet evening
with my beloved
by the fire
Friday (9/12/14)

Saturday 
sleep in? not me
wake up early
for a long day of rest
or gettin' chores done
or going to events
it's the day many get to be
for better or worse
their own boss
like it or not
you can't do it all
on this one day
so hope this time around
it was fun
Saturday 9/13/14

Epilogue
Every day is another 24 hours

to notice, to ponder, to wander

to give and take

to love and forgive

to connect and cherish each other

to celebrate the life you have

to dream of delight and flowers

sing another song, dance another jig

Every day is hello and goodbye

YES and Oops! and oh Well!

and THANK YOU!

Everyday--Gratitude

~take care, Jules

THIS NEW DAY

Monday, October 14, 2013

I LOVE mornings! This is something that I inherited from my parents. I know this because the few times I've had reunions with my siblings, all of us have been awake and drinking tea by 7:30 am. and this is in spite of the fact that they are much older than me so we weren't growing up in the same decade. Of course, with mom and dad it was coffee but the same idea. My dad would often start his day with reading his Bible. Little did I know then, that he too had a contemplative nature. He was a pastor and often preached about the dailiness of the spiritual life. He would say that each day we were born anew to begin again with a fresh and clean slate. So no matter what had passed the day before, it was forgiven and gone. And I felt that. Generally speaking, Mom and Dad did not hold grudges. They held worries but not grudges. We were forgiven and life moved on. I think that's part of why I love mornings so much. Each day is a new beginning. 

Certainly, this does not make me lovable to all those who crawled out of bed grudgingly this morning. I know that some of you have so much pain in your body, the idea of moving in the morning is a daunting thing. I know that some of you will start this day starving for sleep that you were unable to embrace for any number of reasons. I know that some of you are carrying such grief or trauma, another day of carrying on also seems more of a challenge than any move can muster. Even I have sore, plantarfaciitus/arthritic feet that scream when I first step on them in the morning. I too have concerns and a to-do list that are bigger than this day. Each person carries a load with them. Life can be hard and another day of it can seem impossible.

Still, I invite you to consider that this new day has new possibilities. I invite you to consider that yesterday's mistakes and guffaws really are forgiven, that no grudge is being held against you. You are free to begin again in whatever small or large way you can. And you are loved and adored even if today all you do is just sit and listen to music or watch the leaves fall. 

I invite you to consider that this day is your precious gift and you are one of this day's precious gifts. Not only are you enough for this day, you are also a gift to this day. For sure you are one of the gifts of my day.

so just breathe. 

I am grateful you are here. Thank you.

And, thanks for reading.

love, jules

Be Careful

be careful not to judge too quickly

a book by its cover

the outcome of a day by its weather

the size of the heart by the clothes on their back

the possibility for gifts from the darkness

in this world, anything is possible

be care-full

jules 9/26/13

Movement

it's on my mind, it's on my heart
but that doesn't necessarily mean it happens

still, the dream ignites,

passion provides fuel

and eventually something begins to form

change is always happening

but some change is slow motion

like watching an oak tree grow

some change is explosion

like a volcano creates a mountain in a day

some burns like a forest fire

while another is pressure until it gives

creating tremors for miles around

still other change is a gentle breeze

that softly blows the dandelion seeds off

and carries them along

until they find soil

even if it might not happen

it probably will

in one way or another

because change is the constant we know to be truth

if i just let it flow in the way that it needs to

dreams, love, passion,

movement

life

~jules, 9/12/13

Time Keeps on Slippin'

Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin' 
Into the future 
Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin' 
Into the future 

I want to fly like an eagle 
To the sea 
Fly like an eagle 
Let my spirit carry me 
I want to fly like an eagle 
Till I'm free 
Oh, Lord, through the revolution 

Feed the babies 
Who don't have enough to eat 
Shoe the children 
With no shoes on their feet 
House the people 
Livin' in the street 
Oh, oh, there's a solution ~ Steve Miller, "Fly Like an Eagle"

It all sounds so simple but then there's that time slippin' thing. I get out of bed by seven every morning. And before i know it, it's nine! Lucky for me, I usually don't have to be to work until ten. But whoa! Slow down there time! I need you to move slow with me. 

"Where you put your time, you put your life. Where you put your life, you put your love." ~ Clayton Barbeau, Family Therapist.

I watched a video series on parenting with Clayton as the speaker when I was in my late twenties. I was a  stay-at-home mom then with at least two, if not three of my four boys already in tow. I don't remember the rest of what he said but this one phrase has stuck with me for my whole life. It's caused me over the years to re-evaluate several times. Where am I putting my time?

Once, in my early thirties, I took a whole day to assess my television watching. Shortly after that I started changing my habits. It took a few years but I did eventually figure out how to let go of this time-sucking practice. My eventual solution came in an unexpected way. Our youngest son was a budding piano player. We had an old piano inherited from my parents in the living room. The TV was nearby in what had been the dining room before we added on. We thought this would be a great TV room. But it clashed with the piano and it was so easy to just walk in and sit down and start watching. Then one day as I drove down the street, a neighbor's couch with a "FREE" sign gave me a novel idea. So we picked up the old frumpy couch and put it in the corner of our frumpy, damp basement. We hauled the TV down there and told everyone that if they wanted to watch, that was where they could go. Upstairs, on the main floor, we moved the piano to where the TV room had been and made a music room. How we spent our time changed dramatically. My son played more and more. We watched TV less and less and eventually threw both the couch and the TV away. We don't miss it. 

Today, as time slips by, I am asking myself again, now in my fifties. Where do I put my time? Where am I putting my life? Where is my love directed? These aren't easy questions and I"m not sure I want to know all the answers but I feel drawn to ask. 

And then there's "feed the babies" and "shoe the children" and "house the people" and love the lonely and give voice to the silent and celebrate the joy! 

And I want to fly like an eagle!

~jules