Poetry Wisdom

The Wisdom of Poetry (9/30/23)

My favorite thing about poetry (or Micro Fiction as I sometimes call it) is that it cuts to the chase, leaving the unnecessary grammar and long sentences and getting to the point faster. Just yesterday I was looking at some old writings and found a couple short poetry that spoke to me from my former self. I thought i would share those with you. Here you go....along with a photo of my dear son Hans who is the subject of one of these poems.

Micro Fiction or Poetry

NEW VISION (15 words on 6/18/11)
an old moldy roof window
painted with new life
changes how I see my dreams

SLOW DOWN (15 words on 10/6/13)
Walking on Sore feet
Slows me down
Allowing for a longer view
Of today’s gifts

HANS (20 words about Hans on 10/6/13)
Jumping with excitement
Raging with injustice
Purring with love
His short life
Left a long legacy
Enthusiasm
Friendship
Family
Dragonflies

copywrite by Julie A. Bonde

Hope Lives On

Julie & Fara in Madagascar

Tonight, becase my husband is camping with our grandson, I am alone in the house. And because of this, I am watching some auditions from the 2023 season of America’s Got Talent. All of the acts are inspiring but one act in particular gives me a very deep sense of hope and trust.

Although I don’t have a TV, I have occasionally followed America’s Got Talent. I especially like the auditions just to see what creative and brave people come up with to share. A few years ago, one person in particular caught my attention. She went by the name Nightbirde. She had cancer and performed anyway and she moved up the ranks. I remember her song “It’s Okay,” an original of her own. It touched a lot of hearts. Well apparently, people on the other side of the world were listening too. So tonight, I watched a youth choir from South Africa sing Nightbirde’s song because it had given them hope. And because they did such a good job, they got the golden buzzer from all the judges at once.

And this made me think…you just never know what your gift is going to mean. Nightbirde ended up dying from her cancer but her gift gave hope to people all over the world.

 But we don’t have to be on a world stage to bring hope. Earlier this afternoon, I was sitting across the table from a great friend of mine. We were both so touched by the hope we received from each other. And that hope is part of what keeps each of us going….just because we share our hearts and our light with each other.

 It doesn’t matter what you share. It doesn’t matter if you are perfect. All that matters is you share from your heart. And that is what brings hope to someone else. 

 It’s just magical. And hope lives on.

Journal   8/27/2023

Thank you all for the hope!

The Neighbor with the Shopping Cart

 Friday, June 9, 2023

It's calm, peaceful morning on the patio out back. 8:15 AM, we're eating breakfast, reading the paper, doing crossword puzzle and listening to the house wren brag about his brood. Friday is garbage day so our containers are out on the alley waiting.

Midway through our meal, he comes with his shopping cart from who knows where. We only know him from his occassional route down our alley looking for garbage that he can use to make a little money; especially metal. Just as he passes our table, Pete jumps up, "Wait a minute!" he says to the elderly man hunched over his shopping cart of found things. "I've got something for you in the garage. I'll go get my key." While Pete runs into the house, I chat with the shopping cart man about the beautiful morning. It is a pleasant conversation. Pete returns with key in hand. He opens the garage and finds the metal and as usual, has a little more of a chat with the guy. The man who has had these chats with Pete before, asks how our solar panels are doing. Pete describes him as an intelligent person from their conversations. After a little connection, the hunched over gray haired guy with the shopping cart moves on down the alley with a little more metal than before.

As I watched the interchange and bid my own "have a nice day," I was struck by two things.

1. My husband is an amazing human being! He doesn't talk a lot but he does act out what he is thinking. He lives according to his heart and his convictions. He believes "love your neighbor" is the most important thing and so he lives it. He doesn't care if his neighbor is an old guy with a shopping cart digging through garbage or the friendly gardner accross the street. He just loves with his whole being. I am so grateful for his partnership and his example.
2. We really can't judge a book by its cover, as Pete so gently points out. We don't know what brought that intelligent man to the decision to take a shopping cart and walk down the alleys on garbage day. We can't assume anything. We need to leave our hearts and minds open until we've listened to the story. We need to approach and make it clear that we can hear the story. There are hundreds/thousands/millions of stories that bring people to walk the streets. And likely, they vary grately. 
3. Not everyone has the same role to play. Some are called to organize community and voting campaigns or service in public office. Others are called to take other approaches. We need each other to make this world work for all of us.
   

So I am challenged and reminded that "love your neighbor" is not just handing out food or money or doing what we think is best. It is also approaching and seeing and listening. It is treating our neighbor with the same respect we would treat a friend. And maybe part of the challenge is to learn to respect our own stories as well. I'm still learning what is needed and what I can offer.

Just some thoughts!

~ Jules

STRANGERS IN OUR OWN LAND

I wonder if we're aren't all strangers

in our own land

Throughout our lives wondering,

How anyone could be as strange as we are?

It seems like it takes a lifetime to accept the embrace of enough--

that being ourselves is enough

When I look at you,

I never think you should be more.

I just think, "What exquisite beauty! what luck that I have met you!"

Perhaps it is time to offer ourselves the same kindness;

to open our arms up to our own strangeness.

just a thought....from jules

April 3, 2014

WHAT IS IT ABOUT TREES?

TREES

What is about trees 

that grabs my attention so?

BRANCHES reaching up and out

perfectly organized 

or tangled in a crochet knot

against the blue sky

BARK that thickens 

and hardens and breaks

as the heart bursts open

as life fattens the tree's torso

ROOTS that grab on and hold

reaching deep and wide for stability

for nutrients and water

LEAVES budding long before spring

unfold at just the right moment

coloring everything to a rich warm velvety green

and then fire up orange just before they fall away

SHADOWS of the wise and wonderful neighbors

cast intriguing reflections on snow and sand and water

tempting me to look up to them

for inspiration for my perfectly organized and tangled mess

for courage to allow my heart to crack open as I grow

and a reminder to reach deep and wide.

2/19/2014

 

A CHRISTMAS TEAR

 Not everyone is filled with cheer on the holidays. I just wanted to take time to honor that part of the holiday too, the part that touches those tender spots in our hearts. Here is my attempt at expressing that experience. I send hugs to all those who are grieving and lonely this Christmas. 

A CHRISTMAS TEAR

A tear ran down her cheek

Red patches decorated her face

From rubbing and sobbing

These decorations we often avoid

On holidays and anniversaries

Thinking ourselves incapable of moving on

When in fact every tear is a baptizing of our love

And every rub an effort to hug those we can no longer touch

Grief is a part of the holidays too

A time when those we have loved so deeply and so long

Are more clearly missing from the family gathering

The stark reminder catches our breath

We can no longer ignore what the hearts wants

So we let go a tear or two or fifty

Breathe deeply into that place in our lungs

Our voice offering “I miss you so much”

Our soul relieved to speak the truth in love

Honoring the whole holiday

Not just the cakes and candles and music

But the quiet, dark, sweetness of our grief and longing

And in that moment, we are finally able to light the candle

And let the gift of this relationship still hold us

Allowing the sacredness of this moment to be enough

 

December 25, 2022

Jules Bonde

GRACE ENOUGH--Part 2

The earth beneath your feet has been absorbing the light since the day it was created. 

Stop for a moment and soak some of it up...there's enough for all.

Look out the window and gaze at the beauty of the sky and trees.

Lean into the Love around you.

There's enough love, enough light, enough peace, enough joy for all.

These are the gifts that no economy can take away or produce.

These are the gifts that no war can destroy. 

These are your gifts!

~ Jules Bonde, December 20, 2014

SOLSTICE: FINDING LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS

A SOLSTICE WISH FOR YOU

Long, dark nights come. It is true.

There is barely time to catch a ray of sun before the day is over.

Long, dark times come in life too.

There is barely a glimmer of hope on the horizon.

Good news is all but eclipsed by the burdens of life.

Sometimes it seems as if the clouds will never move away.

Even so, the light seems to burn brighter in the darkness

the warmth of love seems more determined than ever

The earth keeps turning, hearts keep beating,

Music keeps humming in my dreams

Then one day it is clear we have crossed that threshold

and we're headed back to lighter days

the darkness goes back to its cave

i pray that on this longest night of the year

you can feel the music that connects you

the hearts that love you

the hope that burns on

and a glimpse of the joy

that will grow from this moment

HAPPY SOLSTICE DEAR FRIENDS!

Love, Jules

~ from December 20, 2019

JUST SOME THOUGHTS TO SHARE

 

A Summer Morning View

 

July 1, 2022
8:30 am

Breakfast on the patio.
The air has cooled overnight.
The sun just beginning to peek through the trees.
|Small omelets and fruit with goat yogurt.
Delicious Mauritius tea!
Quiet music in the background from my favorite customized Pandora station.
And my favorite person in the world sitting across the table from me reading today's news.

This is my summer morning view.
Beauty running deep in my heart.
A small moment filled with love and gratitude.
Causing deep cleansing breaths and smiles.
Nourishing hope and possibility in my heart.

May you also find a quiet moment filled with wonder.
And may it fertilize your soul for another day of life!

Love, Jules

STRANGERS IN OUR OWN LAND

I wonder if we're aren't all strangers in our own land throughout our lives wondering,

How anyone could be as strange as we are?

It seems like it takes a lifetime

To accept the embrace of enough

That being ourselves is enough

When I look at you, I never think,

you should be more

I just think, "What exquisite beauty!

What luck that I have met you!"

Perhaps it is time to offer ourselves

the same kindness

to open our arms up to our own strangeness

just a thought...

Love, from jules

April 3, 2014

PRAYING FOR UKRAINE

FINDING HOPE and TEARS IN PRAYER

praying for Ukraine

March 2, 2022

Ash Wednesday for many believers

At 10:00 am Central Time in the USA, the Lutheran World Federation hosted a service of prayer for the war in the Ukraine on Zoom. I had wanted to take time to really pray for this awful situation so I signed on. I was not prepared for how many and diverse a group of people it would be. Wow!

The people offering their thoughts and prayers on  the screen were from many different faith expressions and denominations. I didn't count those, just noted them. The people listening were from 45 countries, as far as I was able to count. See the list i have posted here. So there was translater button at the bottom of the screen so that most of us could hear in our own language. And apparently there were about 2000 people on the call. Wow!

They prayed for 

    wisdom

        kindness

            strength

                courage

                   love

                        hope

                           blessings

                                for diversity to be valued

                                    to love our neighbor

                                        for refugees to find safe homes

                                            for wealthy western countries to get over our egos

                                                and even COVID-19 pandemic

                                                    PEACE!

Many tears were shed on this side of the screen. And I remembered my friend Rena's words the other day--"With all that has happened in the past two years, I would ask you, "Why aren't we crying?" And suddenly it seemed like tears were an apt prayer for this horrible circumstance of yet another country trying to invade another by dropping bombs. Tears for letting go of our abiility to control, tears for the loss and grieving of so many, tears for our inability to be helpful, tears for sleepless nights, tears for the sadness of it all. Tears for the beauty of our unity as some 2000 people from nearly every continent gathered their hearts virtually to pray for peace in the world.  

I come away from that hour and a half with renewed hope. And I just wanted to share with you that this had happened. That there are people who want peace, who want to join their energy with others to make this world a better place. This one day of prayer does not fix everything but it is a good beginning because prayer changes us. When we open our hearts to wondering if there is a better way, to the possiblity that healing and courage and love can grow, we are already making healing and courage and love grow in ourselves and making space for that to happen for others as well.

Let us keep praying--in all the ways that we do--for all those things I listed--for wisdom, hope, strength, courage, love, and peace for all our human brothers and sisters all over the world.

As one of the speakers said today: "Let's commemorate this event by being hope!" Amen to that!

~sharing my thoughts and prayers, just Jules

                                            

What will you talk about tomorrow?

what if,

like the birches

in the forest,

like the pine

laden with snow,

like the oak

lying dormant in winter with naked branches

what if like the trees you already are

all you need to be?

what if you already

are enough?

what then?

what if you really are

all you need to be?

what if all you need to do

is accept who you are

and allow yourself to be you?

then what?

what will you talk about tomorrow?

February 1, 2019

by Jules (Julie A. Bonde)

The First Day of the Rest of My Life

The Last Day

Yesterday was the last day. I took my last chemotherapy pill at dinner last night. No party, no fireworks, just one last swallow and then just after I set my glass down, I got a “Wahoo!” text my from my daughter-in-law. That encouraged a few calls and words of celebration and breathing with a few family and friends. Even in this, I am supported. Thank you!

It was a big day for me. It still seems a bit surreal. Really? Am I really done? There are no more scans and biopsies scheduled. I won’t see my oncologist again until September 15^th. (for the record, my particular kind of breast cancer does not have any blood markers…so the only way to tell if there is more cancer is scans and biopsies, of which I’ve had plenty). I’m still wrapping my brain around the idea that I might get to move on. Really? Meanwhile part of me is hopeful that I might actually get to make progress on my side effects as my body detoxes from the poison we know as chemo.

The First Day

Back in the day, it was a popular saying “today is the first day of the rest of your life.” Today that saying is just true for me. I feel like I’m starting over again, praying for guidance, for health, for presence of mind and heart to live fully and deeply. It is all that matters at this moment, to live fully and deeply and show up for myself and for others, the best I know how. There is still a lot of healing to do. There is a lot of work yet to do,  a LOT of work to do but starting today, I have been the gift of another day to do it in.

I look forward to leaning more into my passions again. I look forward to being with Pete and our kids and grandkids for a week up at a cabin up north later this month. I look forward to many more quiet mornings sitting on the patio, listening to the birds sing while I sip my tea or do a sudoku or the crossword puzzle. I love waking up early for a quiet morning! I look forward to singing again more, now that we can, with all the lovely voices I’ve come to adore in the groups I sing with. I look forward to connecting with friends, as we are able and enjoying those magical moments when we just know that we are connected, that we are one, that this world is one with us. I look forward to more deep conversations about love and God with book groups and in spiritual direction and with family/friends.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I’m going to start by giving thanks and listening for my heart. I’m going to start by saying Thank you! And then having a few tears to honor this moment when I get to move on.

Peace be with you dear friends! Love be with you dear family!

Love, Jules

Thanks to Rena Lindgren for the photo of me walking through the stone threshold from our trip in 2015 to Pipestone National Monument.

CANCER UPDATE: Scans and good news and daisies!

Hi sweeties, my dear ones,

I have had trouble writing a health update of late. As soon as I start to write, I get distracted and by the time I get back, I'm in a whole different place and need to start over. So I'm going to try in one sitting to give you an update as short as possible. (and that did not happen--it is now several days later already.)

Here is a "quick" summary of the last month or so.

April 26--after going to the ER I was diagnosed with cellulitis and put on 10 days of antibiotics. My main symptom was a swollen breast...with some pain but no fever or sickness. Initially the fluid and swelling in the breast went down.

May 7--In June of 2020, when I was being diagnosed with breast cancer they also saw a couple of nodules on my lung. So May 7th, I had a follow up Chest CT Scan. The nodules were "stable" so that was good but the radiologist some somthing "else" on my thoracic spine. They wondered if it might be cancer so they scheduled an MRI.

Tuesday, May 18--I was awakened at 5am with pain under my left arm and some in my breast. The fluid and swelling had gone up again. So I called my oncology nurse for help. She did 2 things--upgraded my virtual appointment to an in person appointment with my nurse practitioner and she referred me to a lymphedema therapist. I was so grateful I had called.

Wednesday, May 19--I had my blood levels checked. All were good. No indication there of any infection. All good news!

Thursday, May 20--I saw the nurse practiioner. After examing me, he said quite empahtically "I am quite sure this all from your surgery and radiation. sometimes people get the fluid even 3 years later." but just to be sure, he set me up with a diagnostic mammogram. I went home encouraged that someone (besides me) had examined me and concluded that my experience was within the normal range of experience. This was good news to me! 

Friday May 21--8:30 am. I had the MRI on my spine....they were looking for what they thought might be a cancer spot that had showed up in the previous CT scan. They found no evidence of cancer, just an old injury which made sense since I had fallen on the steps last july and landed on my tail bone. So nothing new to worry about there. GOOD NEWS!

Friday, May 21--1:15 pm I had my initial session with the lymphedema therapist. she gave me massage on my lymph nodes and exericises to do to help my lymph nodes keep working better.  I think it is helping some. I'm not good at regular exercise but I'm motivated. It is good news that I have something to do to help myself that isn't taking more drugs. YAY!

Massage: In addition, I am having a weekly massage with Janet Midthun. Cooincidentally she also knows how to do the lymphedema work and I think that helps me too. So grateful for Janet and her availability to me! more good news.

Chiropractor: I also see the chiropractor every 2 weeks to keep my spine aligned and neck too.

THURSDAY, MAY 27TH--AN ANNIVERSARY--last year on this day I found a lump in my breast, just two days after George Flloyd's murder. What a year! I'm happy to still be in it! still here!

May 27--  I had my diagnositc mammogram. It was 98% possitive. the radialogist was 98% sure that the little spot they did find was nothing but to be sure he scheduled me for a needle biopsy. Sigh! Another test and more looking for cancer.

June 1st--11am, I had my needle biopsy. The nurses and the radiologist were super nice to me and it only took a half hour! In spite of the test, this was a good day for me! I was so grateful for the people who keep doing this work and do it well.

June 2nd--2 pm, a nurse at the Breast Center called to tell me that my test results were in. NO CANCER! So I asked her about the fluid in my breast and she said it might take months for it to go away. Okay...good to have that clarified again. While I was still talking to her, Goran, the nurse practioner called to tell me the good news too. I got a kick out of how they both called me immediately after getting the report. Goran, said all that showed was dense breast tissue with some bits of calcification. He said I should keep doing the lymphedema and massage and that both of those things would help. GOOD NEWS! I shed some tears of gratitude and relief. Nothing new to worry about! 

Xeloda....June 25 is my last scheduled dose of this chemotherapy pill. Hopefully my oncologist doesn't have anything else to give me. My body and my heart are so ready to be done with chemo. Whew!

Daisies and songs...haha..this is basically an excuse to share my daisies with you. One of my deep joys in life has been daisies, their simplicity and their stunning beauty. Daisies are good news too, along with the fact that I had my lovely Morningstar Singers over on Tuesday night for our first in-person singing in over a year! Good news indeed!

It's been a long taxing year. Please keep praying that my neuropathy heals. I am ready to get my life back, even if it is a different life than before.

Thank you all for your deep support of me over this last year, for listening to me ramble, for allowing me to not always be the cancer girl, for loving me as I am.

I am so grateful and wouldn't have made it through the year without you.

Love you big,

You are good news!

Jules

Gratitude for the Little Ones: Grounding in Grandparenting

April 25, 2020 (Still social distancing)

I've been a grandmother for five years now. We have three grandchildren, 5, 4 3/4, 22months. I (along with my sweet husband) have done a significant amount of care for these grandchildren. Until last fall, we had the two older ones over at our house every Friday, all day. As a result, our grandchildren are among the people we call our best buddies. We miss them terribly during this quarantine. We have gotten to see them a few times at a safe distance but gone are the group cuddles and giggles on the couch or our bed.

Drawing with Markers by Solveig, age 5

So it was doubly sweet a couple days ago, when we received a little artwork from each of them. Solveig's came in the mail. She drew this picture, in her current Solveig style.On the other side, her parents had helped her write a note including some important questions: "Have Grandma and Grandpa ever cut paper?"  "Have they ever drawn a funny pattern?"  I can't tell you the last time I got a letter in the mail. What a sweet gift!

watercolor by Wendell, age 4 1/2

On the same day, Wendell and his little sister, Sophie, came by to play on our playground for a little while. The first thing Wendell said, "Grandma Jules, I have present for you." Indeed, he had even made a special envelope for these two watercolor paintings...the blue one is Wendell's and the other more minimalist one is Sophie's. Again, it touched my grandma heart deeply.

watercolor by Sophie, age 22 months

Thank you Solveig, Wendell and Sophie for being in my world! and thank you Jacob, Beth, Karl and Erica for being such wonderful parents, for sharing them with us and teaching them love and kindness.

In the midst of this social distancing, these are gifts I will be hanging on to, sinking my roots deep into the love that transcends all time and space. These are gifts that help me remember to be grateful. What a lucky mother, grandmother, spouse I am!

Sometimes the simple things are what grow our deepest roots! Sometimes the little ones save us from our overthought, overworked adult lives. In this case, I'm going to say, LOVE WINS!

STAYING AT HOME (Grounding in Home)

STAYING AT HOME / GROUNDING IN HOME
April 12, 2020 [it's been almost 30 days since we started closing down and sheltering at home during the Coronavirus/COVID-19 crisis]

Officially, during the last 4 weeks, we have been under a "Stay at Home" order in Minnesota. Some call it "lockdown," some call it "sheltering at home," some call it "sabbath," hmmmm. I guess what you call it depends on your perspective. Officially, I can't write in my journal right now without having this situation be part of my thoughts. Quite simply, the COVID-19 crisis has affected everyone and everything I know, except love. Love is a constant.

Coincidentally, my book group started reading and discussing "Grounded: Finding God in the World, A Spiritual Revolution" by Diana Butler Bass in mid-February. After being derailed for a couple weeks, I invited the group to meet with me on Zoom to connect and discuss the book. Also, coincidentally, the chapter we discussed last Thursday is called "Home." Butler Bass does a great job of thoroughly covering the subject of home (ancient history to modern times including Bible and church effects on home) except she doesn't cover what home might come to mean to us after a mass quarantine such as we are in the middle of. Truthfully, I don't know the answer to that either but I do have some thoughts I'd like to share.

So what is home? Where do you live? How do you define home? What does it mean for you? I agree with Butler Bass that these are sacred questions. So I ask, what does 'Stay at Home' mean for your heart?

The beach I grew up on in Madagascar

Home as a Place: In my early years, home was plain and simply Madagascar (the island on the other side of the world, not the movie). The whole island, which is as large as Texas, felt like home to me. The climate, the people, the food, the earth, everything felt like home. It is the place of my birth, which is often our early definition of home. In particular, the ocean was home to me. The ocean is constantly moving and changing, always another wave coming in and in that changing, there is life you can count on. I always feel better in my heart, like I am home when I am near the ocean. The second best is being near any other body of water. Home is a place where my feet can wade in the water and know there is life, there is breath, there is another day.

Home as Family: It gets messier when you start thinking about home and family as being synonyms. It's messy because family is messy. My parents loved each other and the world. They also loved their faith life. To the best of their ability, they tried to create home for us, a place where we could grow in love and faith. My dad as a missionary pastor enthusiastically shared his faith with us. My own faith journey starts with my parents. In many little ways, my parents are why I feel so connected to my own spiritual grounding. God's love and grace is home to me.

the HOME, Missionary Children's Home

But, (with family there is always a but) we all went off to boarding school when we were 5 or 6. In fact my siblings were already there when I was born. So the messy of my family is that we never really lived together all in one place, as a family. Then the kids and adults at boarding school became a second family to me, one just as messy. In fact our boarding school was affectionately called "the Home," short for Missionary Children's Home. There was the girls I had as a roommates who still feel more like siblings than my family of origin. There were the houseparents who were there when I was sick, who heard me give my first speech and my first piano recital and all that. And there was the fact the missionary family were are always coming and going, so one could never sink roots too deep. You had to be ready for the next goodbye.

Then when I came back to the states both of those families evaporated. Once in America, my parents and siblings ended up living coast to coast and all in different states. It is hard to build relationship from a distance. The same was true of my classmates and peers from boarding school. For awhile and even still, it often has felt like I am an orphan, without a family. Dad and Mom died 33 and 13 years ago respectively. At moments I have even been jealous of friends' siblings fighting, thinking "at least you have a sibling to fight with." I did get a new family though. I married my dear husband straight out of college, when we were 22. Part of the attraction was that he had a family, a very grounded and solid one. The Bonde family has been such a gift to this orphan. I've been able to graft my heart on to their solid vine and have some roots as a result. And that's helped Minnesota to feel a bit like home.

Pete & I at home.

I wanted so badly to have family, that I had four kids and then became what is called at "homemaker," a stay-at-home mom. Yes, that's me! I built a whole career, a whole life on stay-at-home. I haven't always like the moniker 'homemaker' but it really does describe it. I didn't just find a home, I created one. And I didn't do it alone. I had help from Pete and my friends and later, my kids. So that's an interesting twist to this combining of family and home. Do you find home or do you create home or is it both? I found Pete to be my home AND Pete and I created a home together.

Home as Relationship and Community: Had you asked me in 1976, where I would make a home in the USA, I would not have said, "Minnesota." It is not my climate at all. I want something closer to the tropics. It is as far away from the ocean as you can get in this country. There are no mountains. My siblings aren't here. But after 39 years of living here, I find myself feeling more and more home. And the reason is not the climate or the river but the people. As time goes by, I find more and more that people are my home. Church is home because it's full of people earnestly searching for a common way of love and forgiveness, people supporting each other, accepting each other. Community song circles are home because they are full of people, bravely willing to live authentically and wholly, offering their pure hearts in song. Writing circles are home, for the same reason. My close friends are home because they invite me to be me. My children and grandchildren are home, each carrying a piece of me in them. And each of them loving me in spite of my mistakes. My husband, Pete, is home. With him, I am truly and wholly myself, in all my dark and light moods. With him. I am home.  Home is the people. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else now because so many of my people live here.

And that brings me back to the corona virus crisis and the order to stay home. I have had moments of naked loneliness because I'm not seeing my people. And I've had moments of deep gratitude that I have people to miss. I've also had time to find the home, the place of center and grounding in me and had time to breathe into the home of my soul. I'm not happy about the crisis but I am grateful for the invitation to breathe within. The question is can I be at home in my heart, soul? Can I be at peace and not afraid of just being with myself? Can we be home in just being? and not always doing?

Other definitions of home: Diana Butler Bass has several definitions of home in her chapter. Here are some of them:

• Home is more than a house (p. 166).
• Home is the geography of our souls (p. 166).
• Home is a place where we belong (p. 167).
• Home is a place where God meets us (p. 167)
• Home is where the heart is (p 172)…the abiding place of our affections.
• Home is the location that shelters our lived experience, but also holds our memories and shapes our desires. (p. 172)

What is your definition of home? How are you being invited to "stay home" during this time of isolation and social distancing? Where do you find home? Where do you live? Who invites you to feel safe at home within?

I pray that as you leand into this time of social distancing, you find peace and health in your home and in your heart.

~Jules

GROUNDING MYSELF IN SINGING

GROUNDING MYSELF IN SINGING

Nearly three weeks ago, we all received an invitation, later it became an order, to STAY HOME. A tiny little protein covered with fat, called COVID-19 has turned our world upside down. We've cancelled an important annual event for us personally. We've shut down stores, businesses, schools, churches. There is no book group, no choir practice, no dance party. My planned presentations have been cancelled. People can't do funerals, weddings, birthday parties, graduations. They work from home as best they can. They teach their kids from home. We're living apart....and yet....we are living together again, like we haven't done in years. People are playing and calling and talking and singing. 

in the last three weeks, I've attended 5 singing 'circles' online through the tool we call Zoom. EAch time we've had between 10 and 36 singers on the screen at once. And though we don't get to hear ourselves sing together, we are singing together...one person's microphone is on, the rest are muted. ANd we're singing. And we're seeing each other. In case, I was singing with some people I have sung iwth before, in person and some people I haven't sung with before. In case, I was touched to the core by the vision on the screen. Though we aren't sharing the voice, we are sharing the song and the song/prayer is going out over the airwaves still, the soundwaves traveling out all over the world. 

This is not exclusive to our country. People all over the world are singing, drawn to that natural desire to express what is in their hearts and souls and create harmony and peace and love. 

So I drew this picture as a reflection of what I feel during those Zoom screen singing circles. Though the screen is flat, the circle is still real, like the picture.

Song circles are no longer round

Now faces on a flat screen instead

Zoom in the time of quarantine

Brings hearts together still

Weaving the thread that holds us together

With the voice of longing we all share

For that time when we will again be

Holding hands, Touching hearts, Living free. ~ jules, 3/29/2020

Grounding--day 19

Sunday, March 15, 2020

(COVID-19 (aka Corona Virus) global shutdown is in process)

In the last week, almost everything I participate in has been cancelled, shut-down, postponed..etc. Pete and I are regular Sunday church people. It's been part of our life since we met and still is. Today the churches are closed and you can watch some version of it online, without the people. In a couple days all the schools in the state will be closed and we might have an opportunity to help watch grandchildren while our children balance work and health and home. Three days ago, Pete and the Dragonfly Project Board had to make the difficult decision to cancel our 18th Annual Celebration and Remembrance event. After that, I confess, I did a spin around the panic park and got centered on the realization that this virus will affect every single person on this planet in some way, even if they don't get sick. It's a LOT to take in and a LOT to adjust to!

So what to do? How do I begin again?

Fortunately, I didn't have to wait too long for one idea. Yesterday, my spiritual director posted that she was going to take a "prayer walk" this morning with an open invitation for others to join. So this morning, that is just what Pete and I did. We went on a prayer walk at Silverwood Park with my spiritual director. It's about a mile loop around the park. 

As we walked in the cold sunshine, we talked about concerns and a long list of people and circumstances...each thing then became another prayer. We prayed for peace and hope, for people who will be grieving, for those who are isolated, for those who will experience losses small and large (things like lost wedding or graduation parties, no elective surgery so no new knee; things like lost hope). We prayed for those whose health is vulnerable already, for those who will suffer from the isolation, for those who are hungry and cold and homeless and now deal with this added threat. We wondered too how we might step up and help our neighbor. And while we prayed and talked, we breathed the fresh cold air and enjoyed the nurture of nature. 

Afterward, Pete and I took a little extra time to go out to the island where I got some close up pictures of the ice and leaves having their winter time together. For me, the joy of the art these two items create together gave me so much joy. Then we paused quietly to listen to the ice popping on the lake ...the ice creating a sort of Alleluia/Amen to our morning worship.

I think this might be our new Sunday practice, as weather and time permit. 

I pray you find a way to ground yourself back to love during this time of the virus crisis.

peace,

Jules

Grounded: Day 6

Grounding My Self in the Morning:

It's 7:40 a.m. . The sun has just come up and it's shining on my face as I drink my tea and read my book. I've just finished some eggs and toast and almond milk. I've had many mornings like this, hundreds, maybe thousands. And each time the sun comes up and my lips touch the cup of tea and my eyes open to a new day and my ears listen to the silence around the ringing in my ears, my heart feels that tingle, that invitation.

Every new morning grounds me in new beginnings, in the taste and flavor of breakfast, and in the light and quiet of the new day. This is my time, my favorite time of day.

On the downside, I wish I could do everything I want to do in this moment of openness and hope, that I wouldn't need all those hours and minutes to get it all in. I know that by three in the afternoon, I won't feel as energized. On the downside I wish you were here with me to share this moment. And in that thought, tears of gratitude and sorrow both run down my cheeks. I'm grateful to have such a person as you in my life and I'm sorry I can't share this with you right now.

But on the plus side there's so much possibility in this day. And who knows? maybe I'll see you? or talk to you? or have a moment to write? And who knows? maybe there's some unexpected joy in it? And who knows where this the day will take us? And who knows? Maybe this is the day you discover love and I discover strength or a new way to get it all done?

Welcome to my morning! I hope your day is filled with hope, joy, peace and that some moment, like this one, grounds you in Love.

Blessings on you,
Jules