She called me up and asked, “would come over and play with
me?’” With no hesitation, I said “yes.” She was seventeen years younger than
me; almost young enough to be my daughter. It was the start of many wonderful
adventures. What a treat! We would make labyrinths in the snow and on sidewalks
with chalk. Sometimes we went dancing. Sometimes, we’d sit in some random
public places and sing or practice making our own dances. We explored new
places to eat. We explored new worship experiences; a unique pleasure that we
shared. It was glorious. After years of playing the role of a responsible
mother and wife, I was remembering how to play again. I’d been acting the
responsible, “mature” woman too long. Eventually, my friend wandered off to
other adventures but the seed had been planted.
I wanted my life to have more fun in it; more magic.
I already knew that gratitude was one of the ingredients of
this magic I sought and now I understood that play was the other. I noticed my
relationships with other friends changed. I began to let go of friendships that
were no longer fun; where all I did was “work” on it. In that time period, I
also gave myself more permission to play alone as well. I simply love taking
pictures and then wallowing in the beauty afterward. So some days I just grab
my camera and go. I find a place I’ve never been or a place I’ve been a hundred
times and see what the camera can show me I’ve never seen. This is pure delight! I love to sing and
regularly schedule this fun activity into my week. I love kayaking and am as
excited to go alone as to share this satisfying activity. I find I am more
likely to invite friends for play and more likely to say yes when invited for
the same. If you were to ask me how I got
my current circle of friends, some of whom are old and some new, I would reply,
“Because they invite me to joy.”
I’ve noticed a lot of people my age struggle because the
passion is gone, the joy has fizzled. They’ve been acting grown up too long and
have become jaded through various jobs, losses, family crises. They/we have
forgotten how to play. Some of us, at this time wander off to find lovers or
new jobs. Some fall into deep depression or seek thrilling adventures, hoping
to find something to ignite that joy. Some of us dig even deeper into our
responsibilities; working long hours so there is no time to think about it. Some
of us seek escape through watching television or using drugs and alcohol. How
unfortunate that we leave our play behind and don’t think of it as worthy of
our attention when we begin to enter adulthood. Some get lucky and have a
grandchild who invites them back to the play. And some like me are lucky enough to have another
adult come along and invite them.
One day, not long ago, I had another young woman over to my
house for the day. I am now fifty-three and she is thirty-three. After a nice
proper cup of tea and a bit of serious talk, I gave her an old shirt of mine
and invited her to the basement. For the next hour, we finger painted on my
basement wall together. The resulting artwork was actually quite stunning. Then
we put on some drum music and danced freely, without boundaries. We ended with
dinner. As she said goodbye, she said, “You’re the first person older than me
to ever invite me to just play.” I hoped it offered her a larger view of what
it is to be a woman. For me, the day brought me to an even deeper gratitude for
this life I get to share with others.
Another invitation to play along the way came in the form of
a book; although I didn’t realize it when I first received it. A few years back a dear friend of mine gave me
the book “The Gift: Renderings of Hafiz” translated by Daniel Ladinksy. Hafiz
introduced me to a God who can’t wait to play with us. In several of his poems
he meets the Holy One at the local tavern. I began carrying “The Gift”
around in my purse. One friend in particular fell in love with Hafiz as well. It is now our
tradition to read poetry as our appetizer every time we eat a meal together. We
started with Hafiz and have added others as well. Can you imagine how good the food tastes when
we approach it with such pleasure? Yum!
Lately, I’ve discovered another area where I get to invite
people to play…alternative and contemplative prayer practices. People just
light up when they realize that being spiritual doesn’t have to mean being
serious and depressed. I get so much joy out of inviting others to play in
their prayer life. Prayer can be deep when we are allowing the joy of the
relationship with the Friend (as Hafiz calls him) into it. We can dance, color,
sing, write, act out the story or walk a labyrinth. Our whole life can be a
playful prayer because our whole life is a relationship with the Friend.
In the beginning was the Creator. After creating colors,
music, planets, stars and space, the creator said, “I’m lonely. I want someone
to play with.” And then the Friend created animals and people. Every day since
then the Creator whispers in our ears, “Would you come out to play with me?”
jules 5/20/12
jules 5/20/12
