Encourage Courage
Comfort Serenity
Feel Grace
Dream Being
Remember Truth
Taste Love
Soothe Light
Brave Change
Forgive Expectation
Transform Eternity
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
a recipe of logic and intution
music is that moment
when science laughs
intuition grounds itself
in the logic of rhythm and vibrations
while the composer sculpts
wisdom from random frequencies
the strong wild truth of
deep emotion within
transforms the data
with profound fiery beauty
into a song
when science laughs
intuition grounds itself
in the logic of rhythm and vibrations
while the composer sculpts
wisdom from random frequencies
the strong wild truth of
deep emotion within
transforms the data
with profound fiery beauty
into a song
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
TREE THOUGHTS ON TRANSFORMATION
I have been learning about transformation from the ancient teacher, mother earth. In this time of re-modeling my life as the house empties, as I am looking for meaningful and sustainable occupation, I find nature to be full of wisdom.
Upon on close inspection I discover that not all the leaves on the trees change at once. Sometimes only one section of the tree has turned red; the rest is still green. Sometimes half the tree has changed and it is evenly distributed throughout the bush. A few flowers open early in spring and a few find the late autumn a better time for blooming. Nature knows about the fickleness of change; how it can't happen all at once. Mother Earth knows that as we keep turning and changing our perspective, things are bound to change within our hearts as well.
The trees remind me to not be discouraged if the maple next to me has already turned orange and I am still green. My time too will come. Likely I will burn brightest and display my deepest hues right before it all falls away.
Monday, October 10, 2011
MAKING IT REAL
October 10, 2011(I am a day late but I'm going for it anyway)
Over the weekend, my second son, Karl, stepped up to his 25th birthday and to his life by participating in Occupy MN, a movement to protest against Wall Street and the corruption of our culture from the buying and selling of money. I can't even pretend to address all the complexities of the issues facing our youngest adults these days. Karl, his brothers and their friends are coming of age in a time when the present and future of the national and world economy is dismal. The USA has been at war as long as my son can remember. Unemployment is rampant. This is a time when almost everyone is dissatisfied with the status quo. It can be disheartening and depressing. With increasing frequency, we hear each other say, "if only I had more time and money..." Yet I find hope.
Twenty-five years ago yesterday, Karl was born at sunrise. By the time we got him home from the hospital Karl was already fairly determined to orchestrate things so the family would stay together. He was born with a huge heart and a sensitive soul. From day one, he would not take naps unless he could be in the room where everyone else was. He just wanted the family to be together and seemed to keep finding ways to get us there.
From day one it was pretty clear that Karl had a deep love for people; especially young vulnerable ones. It wasn't long before we realized Karl had a gift for taking care of children. He was two years and nine months when his brother Hans was born and right away he had knack for knowing how to settle him down when he was fussy and how to play with him without hurting him. As he grew, wherever he went, toddlers would find their way into his arms and his gentle attention. It is not surprising to me that he is now a nanny for two families. Any child would be lucky to have him for caregiver and a friend.
From day one it was also clear that Karl loved the earth, especially animals. Over the years, he seemed to attract all kinds of animal books and when he figured out to use a camera, he took to taking pictures of critters wherever he could find them. Through his eyes, i have a whole new appreciation for the presence of squirrels in my yard. amazing creatures! Beautiful.
Karl's love for the earth, the animals and the world has only grown and now I see a young adult poised, ready and already jumping in with two feet to live a life that expresses his love. When Karl and his bride Erica got married this summer, they invited their beloved creatures and earth as well as family to stand witness to their vows as they stood with their bare feet on sand only inches from the water in Devil's Lake, WI. In keeping with their theme, they spent their honeymoon meeting monkeys and macaws in the rainforest of Costa Rica. Over the years, Karl's amazing photos of creatures have grown into the thousands.
By this far in to my ramble, you're either sighing with a big "awwww" or you're disgusted with all the sentimentality and are ready to give up. I hope not. This does not end with passion and sentimentality. I bring all that up just to show where it begins.
And Karl is not unique. Karl, ERica, Karl's brothers and friends and others like them are already making it real. To care for the environment and live as healthy as possible they have taken up vegan diet. They buy local foods as much as possible. They ride bike to work, to play and to the store. They have a car but drive it only when absolutely needed. AFter only a couple months of marriage they have already made several trips to the thrift store to keep their possessions to a minimum and share their wealth. They try to conserve water by flushing their toilet with bath water left in the tub. They each have two or three part-time jobs and still don't get a full 40-hr week. And they are happy. This gives them time to just be. They are ready to live with less to show that life can be better than spending it in service to the next paycheck. They are ready to make choices that create loving, supportive community that provides for everyone's needs and not just a few.
Yesterday, Pete and I spent the afternoon with Karl and Erica. The converstation revolved around these topics. It is hard brain work and hard soul work to move past the conversation to actually changing the world toward healing. THe morning after I find myself thinking that Occupy Mn, Occupy Wallstreet may not be just another protest for a new generation. It might be more of movement to living in hope instead of complaining. I don't know all the issues or all the nuances of them. I encourage you to listen, to read, to talk with your friends and neighbors and ask these questions. CAn we live with less? Could we move to a community consciousness where we meet the basic needs of everyone so that more time can be spend in gratitude and joy and less in whining and despair? Could we use dirty laundry water to flush a toitlet? Could the current unemployment rate be a chance to move to a 4-day work week? Could we become more self-sustaining in our living? more conscious in our choices?
Are we ready to make our passions real?
(PS. Happy Birthday Karl! and thanks!)
Over the weekend, my second son, Karl, stepped up to his 25th birthday and to his life by participating in Occupy MN, a movement to protest against Wall Street and the corruption of our culture from the buying and selling of money. I can't even pretend to address all the complexities of the issues facing our youngest adults these days. Karl, his brothers and their friends are coming of age in a time when the present and future of the national and world economy is dismal. The USA has been at war as long as my son can remember. Unemployment is rampant. This is a time when almost everyone is dissatisfied with the status quo. It can be disheartening and depressing. With increasing frequency, we hear each other say, "if only I had more time and money..." Yet I find hope.
Twenty-five years ago yesterday, Karl was born at sunrise. By the time we got him home from the hospital Karl was already fairly determined to orchestrate things so the family would stay together. He was born with a huge heart and a sensitive soul. From day one, he would not take naps unless he could be in the room where everyone else was. He just wanted the family to be together and seemed to keep finding ways to get us there.
From day one it was pretty clear that Karl had a deep love for people; especially young vulnerable ones. It wasn't long before we realized Karl had a gift for taking care of children. He was two years and nine months when his brother Hans was born and right away he had knack for knowing how to settle him down when he was fussy and how to play with him without hurting him. As he grew, wherever he went, toddlers would find their way into his arms and his gentle attention. It is not surprising to me that he is now a nanny for two families. Any child would be lucky to have him for caregiver and a friend.
From day one it was also clear that Karl loved the earth, especially animals. Over the years, he seemed to attract all kinds of animal books and when he figured out to use a camera, he took to taking pictures of critters wherever he could find them. Through his eyes, i have a whole new appreciation for the presence of squirrels in my yard. amazing creatures! Beautiful.
Karl's love for the earth, the animals and the world has only grown and now I see a young adult poised, ready and already jumping in with two feet to live a life that expresses his love. When Karl and his bride Erica got married this summer, they invited their beloved creatures and earth as well as family to stand witness to their vows as they stood with their bare feet on sand only inches from the water in Devil's Lake, WI. In keeping with their theme, they spent their honeymoon meeting monkeys and macaws in the rainforest of Costa Rica. Over the years, Karl's amazing photos of creatures have grown into the thousands.
By this far in to my ramble, you're either sighing with a big "awwww" or you're disgusted with all the sentimentality and are ready to give up. I hope not. This does not end with passion and sentimentality. I bring all that up just to show where it begins.
And Karl is not unique. Karl, ERica, Karl's brothers and friends and others like them are already making it real. To care for the environment and live as healthy as possible they have taken up vegan diet. They buy local foods as much as possible. They ride bike to work, to play and to the store. They have a car but drive it only when absolutely needed. AFter only a couple months of marriage they have already made several trips to the thrift store to keep their possessions to a minimum and share their wealth. They try to conserve water by flushing their toilet with bath water left in the tub. They each have two or three part-time jobs and still don't get a full 40-hr week. And they are happy. This gives them time to just be. They are ready to live with less to show that life can be better than spending it in service to the next paycheck. They are ready to make choices that create loving, supportive community that provides for everyone's needs and not just a few.
Yesterday, Pete and I spent the afternoon with Karl and Erica. The converstation revolved around these topics. It is hard brain work and hard soul work to move past the conversation to actually changing the world toward healing. THe morning after I find myself thinking that Occupy Mn, Occupy Wallstreet may not be just another protest for a new generation. It might be more of movement to living in hope instead of complaining. I don't know all the issues or all the nuances of them. I encourage you to listen, to read, to talk with your friends and neighbors and ask these questions. CAn we live with less? Could we move to a community consciousness where we meet the basic needs of everyone so that more time can be spend in gratitude and joy and less in whining and despair? Could we use dirty laundry water to flush a toitlet? Could the current unemployment rate be a chance to move to a 4-day work week? Could we become more self-sustaining in our living? more conscious in our choices?
Are we ready to make our passions real?
(PS. Happy Birthday Karl! and thanks!)
Thursday, August 18, 2011
we stood together watching the sunset
i came just to be in her presence
she goes so deep and reaches so high
her grooved wrinkles and
widening torso show her age
and yet she stands there--
steady--faithful--with love
i know i can count on her to remind me
age doesn't change beauty
life is about being connected
joy comes
from letting the light come through
from letting the light come through
she is always so regal standing there
love grows between us each time we meet
and sunsets will shine forever
i hope there will always be
one more time to stand there
up on the hill
with that grand old oak
Note: if you're feeling lonely, feeling blue or just feeling lost in wonder, wandering, find a tree.
Blessings to all you tree lovers,
jules
Monday, August 8, 2011
Keep me from drowning!
35 years ago, I left the island of Madagascar (my birthplace and childhood home) for the last time. I have never been back. I miss it so much.!
My dad died 25 years ago on August 4, 1986. Two months later I had my 2nd child, another beautiful boy! And then I had two more boys, 2 1/2 and 5 years later. My dad missed a lot! and I miss him still.
Almost 11 years ago, my son Hans died at age 11 1/2. He has missed a ton and we have missed him with grief as big as the Grand Canyon.
Four years ago, my mother died (21 years after dad). She had dementia the last 10 years of her life. She was unable to converse the last 5 years. I started missing her before she was even gone. I still miss those wonderful conversations we would have.
In between, these huge losses and other smaller ones, I would have to say I have had soooo many reasons to rejoice in God's amazing and miraculous abundance. Friends show up mysteriously right when I need them most; people who should be dead aren't; health is restored after surgery or acupuncture; my sweet husband and I have been happily married for 30 years; my grown children all live within an hour of my house. I have so much to be grateful for.
But loneliness can hit you between the ribs faster than a professional boxer can sucker punch you. It comes washing over me like I am caught under the crash of the wave and just like some piece of drift wood, I am tossed and turned and stirred up until I land back on the beach. It is overwhelming how incredibly deep those lost relationships go, all the way to the center of the earth; the core of my soul. So even after all the healthiest grieving I could imagine, I am sometimes still caught by how alone each one of us is; how incredibly exhausting and sad it is to feel that in our bodies. It brings to mind the lyrics to a song my son Hans learned by heart when he was only 10...before he had a clue what would happen to him.
These lyrics hit home for me at this moment as I, for the hundredth time, find myself churning under another wave of grief that for a second weighs on me and then releases me of the burden. I am very grateful that my young son left me with this reminder that others too know this feeling of being lost in the waves and exhaustion of the flood. When the song is over and the tears have passed, I am grateful for my very dear, friend who repeats my own words back to me; reminding me that the grieving also honors those deep, deep relationships that have meant and still mean so much to me. We only weep over that which has found its way into our hearts.
So I offer these lyrics up to you dear reader and pray that they both honor your moment of sadness and fear and also offer the assurance that you are not alone in this. I am here too. Many are here ready to wrap their arms around and welcome you in.
“Flood” lyrics by Jars of Clay
Sending you hope,
jules
My dad died 25 years ago on August 4, 1986. Two months later I had my 2nd child, another beautiful boy! And then I had two more boys, 2 1/2 and 5 years later. My dad missed a lot! and I miss him still.
Almost 11 years ago, my son Hans died at age 11 1/2. He has missed a ton and we have missed him with grief as big as the Grand Canyon.
Four years ago, my mother died (21 years after dad). She had dementia the last 10 years of her life. She was unable to converse the last 5 years. I started missing her before she was even gone. I still miss those wonderful conversations we would have.
In between, these huge losses and other smaller ones, I would have to say I have had soooo many reasons to rejoice in God's amazing and miraculous abundance. Friends show up mysteriously right when I need them most; people who should be dead aren't; health is restored after surgery or acupuncture; my sweet husband and I have been happily married for 30 years; my grown children all live within an hour of my house. I have so much to be grateful for.
But loneliness can hit you between the ribs faster than a professional boxer can sucker punch you. It comes washing over me like I am caught under the crash of the wave and just like some piece of drift wood, I am tossed and turned and stirred up until I land back on the beach. It is overwhelming how incredibly deep those lost relationships go, all the way to the center of the earth; the core of my soul. So even after all the healthiest grieving I could imagine, I am sometimes still caught by how alone each one of us is; how incredibly exhausting and sad it is to feel that in our bodies. It brings to mind the lyrics to a song my son Hans learned by heart when he was only 10...before he had a clue what would happen to him.
These lyrics hit home for me at this moment as I, for the hundredth time, find myself churning under another wave of grief that for a second weighs on me and then releases me of the burden. I am very grateful that my young son left me with this reminder that others too know this feeling of being lost in the waves and exhaustion of the flood. When the song is over and the tears have passed, I am grateful for my very dear, friend who repeats my own words back to me; reminding me that the grieving also honors those deep, deep relationships that have meant and still mean so much to me. We only weep over that which has found its way into our hearts.
So I offer these lyrics up to you dear reader and pray that they both honor your moment of sadness and fear and also offer the assurance that you are not alone in this. I am here too. Many are here ready to wrap their arms around and welcome you in.
“Flood” lyrics by Jars of Clay
Rain, rain on my face
It hasn't stopped raining for days
My world is a flood
Slowly I become one with the mud
Chorus:
But if I can't swim after forty days
And my mind is crushed by the thrashing waves
Lift me up so high that I cannot fall
Lift me up
Lift me up - when I'm falling
Lift me up - I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up - I need you to hold me
Lift me up - Keep me from drowning again
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/j/jars+of+clay/flood_20069959.html ]
Downpour on my soul
Splashing in the ocean, I'm losing control
Dark sky all around
I can't feel my feet touching the ground
[Chorus]
Calm the storms that drench my eyes
Dry the streams still flowing
Cast down all the waves of sin
And guilt that overthrow me
[Chorus]
Lift me up - when I'm falling
Lift me up - I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up - I need you to hold me
Lift me up - Keep me from drowning again
It hasn't stopped raining for days
My world is a flood
Slowly I become one with the mud
Chorus:
But if I can't swim after forty days
And my mind is crushed by the thrashing waves
Lift me up so high that I cannot fall
Lift me up
Lift me up - when I'm falling
Lift me up - I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up - I need you to hold me
Lift me up - Keep me from drowning again
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/j/jars+of+clay/flood_20069959.html ]
Downpour on my soul
Splashing in the ocean, I'm losing control
Dark sky all around
I can't feel my feet touching the ground
[Chorus]
Calm the storms that drench my eyes
Dry the streams still flowing
Cast down all the waves of sin
And guilt that overthrow me
[Chorus]
Lift me up - when I'm falling
Lift me up - I'm weak and I'm dying
Lift me up - I need you to hold me
Lift me up - Keep me from drowning again
Sending you hope,
jules
Friday, June 17, 2011
Another Day of Loving
Hello my dear friends,
After a long hiatus, I am finally drawn back to the page to contemplate and ruminate about all that it is...on the surface and the depth. I confess I got the idea of surface and depth from today's reading from "The Book of Awakening" by Mark Nepo. In it, he talks about how the surface and depth of the ocean are inseparable, how what happens in the depths affects the surface and vice versa; how the stillness makes the depth more transparent; how a storm on the surface can churn things up and make the depth murky and unseeable.
So here I am. Gentle breezes play with the leaves of the silver maple while the sun teases the grass through the gaps in the shade. Sparrows chirping in the vine on the fence are backed up by jets flying overhead and the occassional car passing by. To the person who lives out in the country or is sitting in a canoe in the Boundary Waters (BWCA), this is noise. To the woman whose son just got married and who has her first quiet day in months, this is stillness and silence. I resisted the silence at first; choosing instead to busy myself with doing the crossword puzzle in the paper, then cleaning up after yesterday's Dragonfly Project event, then washing dishes and straightening up the living room. At last I gave in to the call. I gathered up my tea, my book and headed out to the stillness of my patio. And here I am.
A simple little tune from Song Circle rises within me, "Wake at dawn with a winged heart, wake a dawn with a wing-ed heart, give thanks, give thanks, for another day of loving." The words from Kahlil Gibran bring tears from my depth. I am still at last and suddenly my depth feels easier to be with, easier to see and know. The tears feel good; a sign that I am fully present to the Spirit within me and around me; a sign that I am alive. Give thanks for another day of loving. Yes, even after all the guests have gone home, even after the party is over and the new couple is off on their honeymoon, even after the death of a precious father-in-law and the struggle to get healthy, there is much to be in love with.
This is another day to love; another day to let what happens on the surface stir our soul; another day to let what we know deep within us to be expressed in our words or our step. This is another day to take in the sacrament of fresh air, to wonder at the color of strawberries, to sing with the birds or bark with the dogs. This is a day to love the connection between us and all that is.
Right now, I am grateful to have the option, the chance to have feet planted securely on the ground, to open my heart to all that is right here, to love who I am and who you are as we dance and work and stumble and get back up. I am just grateful to be alive and have another day to love you, my dear friends and family. And I give thanks for the stillness when i can see into your depth and mine and know our love with more strength and intimacy than ever before.
sending my love your way,
jules
After a long hiatus, I am finally drawn back to the page to contemplate and ruminate about all that it is...on the surface and the depth. I confess I got the idea of surface and depth from today's reading from "The Book of Awakening" by Mark Nepo. In it, he talks about how the surface and depth of the ocean are inseparable, how what happens in the depths affects the surface and vice versa; how the stillness makes the depth more transparent; how a storm on the surface can churn things up and make the depth murky and unseeable.
So here I am. Gentle breezes play with the leaves of the silver maple while the sun teases the grass through the gaps in the shade. Sparrows chirping in the vine on the fence are backed up by jets flying overhead and the occassional car passing by. To the person who lives out in the country or is sitting in a canoe in the Boundary Waters (BWCA), this is noise. To the woman whose son just got married and who has her first quiet day in months, this is stillness and silence. I resisted the silence at first; choosing instead to busy myself with doing the crossword puzzle in the paper, then cleaning up after yesterday's Dragonfly Project event, then washing dishes and straightening up the living room. At last I gave in to the call. I gathered up my tea, my book and headed out to the stillness of my patio. And here I am.
A simple little tune from Song Circle rises within me, "Wake at dawn with a winged heart, wake a dawn with a wing-ed heart, give thanks, give thanks, for another day of loving." The words from Kahlil Gibran bring tears from my depth. I am still at last and suddenly my depth feels easier to be with, easier to see and know. The tears feel good; a sign that I am fully present to the Spirit within me and around me; a sign that I am alive. Give thanks for another day of loving. Yes, even after all the guests have gone home, even after the party is over and the new couple is off on their honeymoon, even after the death of a precious father-in-law and the struggle to get healthy, there is much to be in love with.
This is another day to love; another day to let what happens on the surface stir our soul; another day to let what we know deep within us to be expressed in our words or our step. This is another day to take in the sacrament of fresh air, to wonder at the color of strawberries, to sing with the birds or bark with the dogs. This is a day to love the connection between us and all that is.
Right now, I am grateful to have the option, the chance to have feet planted securely on the ground, to open my heart to all that is right here, to love who I am and who you are as we dance and work and stumble and get back up. I am just grateful to be alive and have another day to love you, my dear friends and family. And I give thanks for the stillness when i can see into your depth and mine and know our love with more strength and intimacy than ever before.
sending my love your way,
jules
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
I Pray
I sing
I shout
I chant and pout
I run in place
I sit still
I look in your face
I pray
I write
I dream
I beg and scheme
I ponder
Take pictures
Gaze all around me in wonder
I pray
I stretch
I dance
I take a chance
I work as I hum
Touching to heal
I play the drum
I pray
I cry
I doubt
Try to work it all out
I fight the disease
Breathing deep
I fall on my knees
I pray
I balance
I walk
Try to walk the talk
I circle round
Taking a step
I hope peace can be found
I pray
I search
Turn the pages
I read the wisdom of the ages
Sink into this place of thought
Want to be free
I try to do what I ought
I pray
I live
I love
Thinking on the things above
I dance and paint
I let go
I look to the saints
I pray
I bow
I stand
I play in the band
I hang with the crowd
walk a lonely path
I sing praises out loud
I pray
I listen
I meditate
Let the spirit agitate
I hope my heart
laugh as we share
be in the present
show how much I care
I pray
by Julie A. Bonde, 1/29/11
I shout
I chant and pout
I run in place
I sit still
I look in your face
I pray
I write
I dream
I beg and scheme
I ponder
Take pictures
Gaze all around me in wonder
I pray
I stretch
I dance
I take a chance
I work as I hum
Touching to heal
I play the drum
I pray
I cry
I doubt
Try to work it all out
I fight the disease
Breathing deep
I fall on my knees
I pray
I balance
I walk
Try to walk the talk
I circle round
Taking a step
I hope peace can be found
I pray
I search
Turn the pages
I read the wisdom of the ages
Sink into this place of thought
Want to be free
I try to do what I ought
I pray
I live
I love
Thinking on the things above
I dance and paint
I let go
I look to the saints
I pray
I bow
I stand
I play in the band
I hang with the crowd
walk a lonely path
I sing praises out loud
I pray
I listen
I meditate
Let the spirit agitate
I hope my heart
laugh as we share
be in the present
show how much I care
I pray
by Julie A. Bonde, 1/29/11
Sometimes I try to Give Words to the Sunrise
Sometimes I try to give words to the sunrise
It’s like trying to photograph the ocean
My words cannot truly pay homage to the abundance of the light
The exquisite joy of leaving the darkness behind to begin anew
Just as my picture cannot gather in the wide expanse of water
On the horizon of the sea where the edge of earth meets sky
And yet in this sudden glorious moment of dawn
I have this gnawing desire to capture the moment of wonder
The blazing fiery colors echoing across the sky and my heart
In my greed I want to hold on to richness of it all
I want to frame the picture on my wall
And carry it with me through the daily walk
But words fail me and photographs are a poor imitation
Sometimes I want to write a song that explains
How abundant Love is, how deep and wide and everlasting
The Spirit is all around us each and every moment
I can’t reach my arms wide enough or cry hard enough
My laughter only can tease you with hints
I want to wrap it up and give you this gift I know is possible
And then I look into the smiling eyes of the elderly
Hear the laughter of the children playing
Taste the sweetness of the mango dripping down my chin
Watch the squirrels at play outside my window
Touch the extreme softness of a hard mountain rock
Feel the healing in the music of friendship
And I know that words and pictures are not necessary
the light is too abundant and there is no holding on
The sunrise in my heart
the love felt so deeply within
The everlasting song
the love felt so deeply within
The everlasting song
Will be found wherever I go
Jules
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Paying It Forward
It looked like just a piece of plastic when he first saw it. Pete could easily have missed seeing it. After all, he had plenty to think about on his way to catch the bus to work that morning. It could easily have been hidden by the piles of snow. He just happened to glance that direction and there it was. He reached down to pick it up. As he turned it over the word iPod caught his eye. “Someone is really going to miss this!” he thought. “I wonder…” his thoughts trailed off as he examined the phone. Once on the bus, he had a better chance to look at it. It was wet from the snow and it didn’t look safe to turn it on. At first he wondered how he would return it if he couldn’t see who owned it. Later in the day, he finally was able to get it on. It took some investigating but he was able to find out that it belonged to a young girl, Debbie (not her real name). He was able to find the phone number of the girl’s father. “That’s what I’ll do!” he smiled to himself, as his plans for returning it began to form.
The second he walked in the door from work that afternoon, he couldn’t wait to tell his wife and show her the iPod. “I’m gonna make somebody happy tonight!” he told her with a big grin and light beaming from his eyes. He couldn’t wait to begin the process, hoping to return the iPod to its young owner. He called the number he found and talked to the dad. As he told the story, the dad got choked up. The father was so relieved to hear that it was found. He said his daughter Debbie had gotten it for Christmas just a couple weeks ago and was devastated that she lost it as she ran to catch the school bus that morning. They had no hope of finding it. But Debbie was not with her father that day so he gave Pete the phone number for Debbie’s mother.
It wasn’t Debbie’s mother who answered the phone but Debbie herself. Pete asked her, “Have you lost something today?”
With deep emotion her young voice said in disbelief, “Really?”
Pete asked again, “What did you lose today?”
Again in disbelief, she shakily uttered, “you found my iPod?”
“Yes,” was his reply.
“Do you want to talk to my mom?” She asked. She put her mom on the phone. Pete told Debbie’s mom how he found the iPod and where. Then he gave her directions so they could come pick it up.
Before he hung up the phone he added, “I want your daughter to remember this experience and pay the kindness forward to someone else some day.”
When the doorbell rang, Pete was expecting Debbie’s mother along with Debbie but the girl had come to the door alone.
“Thank you, thank you thank you…” she began, expecting to just get the iPod and then pay Pete for his kindness.
But Pete had other plans. “I want you to remember this incident” he said. “In the future I want you to pay it forward to help someone else.”
He picked up the iPod and gave it to her. She began to hand him a twenty dollar bill. He pushed it away and pulled out an envelope.
“You keep it and this is what I want you to do. This is your homework. I want you to go to this website on this envelope and look it up. I want you to read about it. The Dragonfly Project is important to me. You read about it and then I want you to take this money and send it to the Dragonfly Project.”
Debbi, gratefully turned to return to her mom waiting in the car, repeating “Thank You!” over and over again. She was about eleven years old, the age of Pete’s son when he died of brain cancer ten years earlier. Pete’s son was the reason The Dragonfly Project was started by another eleven year old eight years ago. Pete doesn’t own an iPod but he knows deeply what many of us don’t; that everyone deserves a second chance; even careless eleven-year-olds. He also knows that eleven-year-olds can make a difference; a difference that makes the world a better place.
This man Pete, happens to be my husband. I’m a lucky woman. Hans was our lucky son. And now Debbi is another young person lucky enough to have met him.
I invite you to consider Pete’s challenge with me. What if the next time someone in our life makes a stupid mistake, we offer them our kindness and then remind them to pass it on? We all make stupid mistakes every day; lost keys, errors in judgment and work; say the wrong things to our good friends. How about if instead of blame and shame, we think of a way to pay a kindness and then invite people to pay it forward? It couldn’t hurt and it might just work.
Epilogue: The Dragonfly Project was started by Anne Brooker in 2002 when she was eleven, to send condolence cards to people who are grieving. You can find out more at http://www.dragonflyproject.org
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