The Neighbor with the Shopping Cart

 Friday, June 9, 2023

It's calm, peaceful morning on the patio out back. 8:15 AM, we're eating breakfast, reading the paper, doing crossword puzzle and listening to the house wren brag about his brood. Friday is garbage day so our containers are out on the alley waiting.

Midway through our meal, he comes with his shopping cart from who knows where. We only know him from his occassional route down our alley looking for garbage that he can use to make a little money; especially metal. Just as he passes our table, Pete jumps up, "Wait a minute!" he says to the elderly man hunched over his shopping cart of found things. "I've got something for you in the garage. I'll go get my key." While Pete runs into the house, I chat with the shopping cart man about the beautiful morning. It is a pleasant conversation. Pete returns with key in hand. He opens the garage and finds the metal and as usual, has a little more of a chat with the guy. The man who has had these chats with Pete before, asks how our solar panels are doing. Pete describes him as an intelligent person from their conversations. After a little connection, the hunched over gray haired guy with the shopping cart moves on down the alley with a little more metal than before.

As I watched the interchange and bid my own "have a nice day," I was struck by two things.

1. My husband is an amazing human being! He doesn't talk a lot but he does act out what he is thinking. He lives according to his heart and his convictions. He believes "love your neighbor" is the most important thing and so he lives it. He doesn't care if his neighbor is an old guy with a shopping cart digging through garbage or the friendly gardner accross the street. He just loves with his whole being. I am so grateful for his partnership and his example.
2. We really can't judge a book by its cover, as Pete so gently points out. We don't know what brought that intelligent man to the decision to take a shopping cart and walk down the alleys on garbage day. We can't assume anything. We need to leave our hearts and minds open until we've listened to the story. We need to approach and make it clear that we can hear the story. There are hundreds/thousands/millions of stories that bring people to walk the streets. And likely, they vary grately. 
3. Not everyone has the same role to play. Some are called to organize community and voting campaigns or service in public office. Others are called to take other approaches. We need each other to make this world work for all of us.
   

So I am challenged and reminded that "love your neighbor" is not just handing out food or money or doing what we think is best. It is also approaching and seeing and listening. It is treating our neighbor with the same respect we would treat a friend. And maybe part of the challenge is to learn to respect our own stories as well. I'm still learning what is needed and what I can offer.

Just some thoughts!

~ Jules

YESTERDAY IS ALREADY OURS!

January 2, 2019 (when the real work starts of moving forward)

Dear Friends,

It's the morning after the morning after, January 2nd, when we have to truly head back to work, and remember to put the correct year on our checks, if indeed we still write checks. For me today, that meant reviewing the chapters for discussion at my book group gathering tomorrow morning. We've been reading "The Other Side of Chaos: Breaking through when life is breaking down" by Margaret Silf. It's a fantastic book to read on your own, very useful for your inner work AND also very useful for dialog with others. I highly recommend you read it...no matter your age or circumstance. 

My favorite part of the reading this week is Chapter 14: Yesterday is Already Ours! And rather than do too much commentary, I thought I'd just share my favorite quotes from this chapter (see below). Silf manages to hit the nail on the head for me...getting at what holds me back most often..the fear of losing what I had. What a hopeful thought, that we can't lose what is already ours because we carry it forever in our hearts! I believe that now! And I'm glad for her way of reminding me of that.

I hope you read the book and I pray you'll be able to move forward knowing that what you treasure most can never be taken from your heart.

Blessings on you as you lean into the new year!   ~ jules (1/2/19)

• But what struck me most about Cadfael’s comment was his affirmation that “yesterday is already ours.” One of our biggest fears, and the cause of so much resistance to change, is that we think we are on the verge of losing, irrevocably, what we value from our past. Yes, like Cadfael, we have a past. To be human is to have a past. Some of that past may be about things we wish we could put behind us forever and wipe clean from the slate of memory. Other things we cherish and dread losing. To embrace the unknown future that change and transition hold out to us is, we feel, to risk losing all that we have invested our lives in so far.
• "Don’t be afraid that in letting go you are losing anything at all, because everything that matters, from this time of graced encounter, or from any other experience in your life, has been internalized and is firmly lodged in your heart. It is yours. It is a part of you. It travels with you and can never be lost.”
• Nothing can take from us the gift of all that our past has given us.
• We can’t lose it, and it will play a crucial part in shaping our future.
• The big question for me is this: when I look at the cherished item that I am trying to carry through the shifting scenes of my life, am I trying to turn back the clock, or am I just wanting to remind myself that the past is still an active part of me?
• The past is already ours; these photos and mementos remind us daily that this treasure that was ours is not lost but carried with us, not just in our bags but in our hearts. And the future is ours, too, to explore and, we hope, to make a contribution to. This isn’t nostalgia. This is wisdom.

And questions from Margaret Silf to ponder:

What treasure from your own past experiences or relationships do you feel has been internalized and forever absorbed into your heart? Notice how it continues to enrich you. It has been said that our memories are like a garden from which we can never be expelled. Which memories in your soul’s garden are life-giving, making you feel more fully alive in the present moment and more hopeful for the future? Is there anything that you cling to from the past that you feel may be holding you prisoner in false nostalgia and blocking your way ahead? The yearning to go back to what has passed can take over our consciousness to the extent that we actually fail to see, let alone respond to, the beckoning of the future and the joys and challenges of the present moment. Do you detect any symptoms like these in your present situation? 

The Heart and the Mind or the Tortoise and the Hare.

So, I was going to write each day of the 12 days of Christmas and suddenly it is the 13th day....or Epiphany or just regular life, depending on your orientation. I don't know what happened to those 12 days except to say that the usual happened. There were parties and concerts and extra special worship services. There were decorations (which are still up) and gift giving and wonderful time with family and all the usual drama that goes with getting through Christmas. What there wasn't was time to really sit quietly with it all and ponder what it means this time around. There wasn't time to think much beyond the happenings. 

And now, I find myself wanting/needing to move on to the new year and the life that is calling me to it. It's time to make phone calls and appointments, to follow through on plans set in place already and make new plans to fill in other spaces. The life of a self-employed person has these waves of activity that require attention. So here I am, just plodding along and hoping to catch up with the song that wants to be sung and live into the heart of the moments. My heart longs to catch up.

Recently, I was thinking of encouraging things to write to a friend. And in the middle of it, this thought came to me. It was very encouraging to me and I hope it will be for you as well. 

Remember the story of "the Tortoise and the Hare?" Remember how the hare goes so quickly but then gets distracted along the way? and the Tortoise goes slowly but faithly gets there and actually wins. So here is my thought for you: 

The Mind races on, gets distracted, caught up in the thought. The Heart is cautious and moves slow and faithfully. 

The two run the race differently so trust that your Heart will win in the end. 

LOVE WINS!

just jules, January 7, 2018