THE SONG WILL NEVER END

 IN THE BEGINNING WAS THE SONG

A creation story by Julie Bonde, April 6, 2017

This story came to me while singing in a song circle at the fire pit at a friend's house in Northeast Minneapolis.

In the beginning, there was darkness a void and the Great Spirit moved in it. Inside the Great Spirit a seed of love was growing. It grew and grew and suddenly The Great Spirit burst forth in song. The song was so beautiful, so full of LOVE that some of the notes broke off into the dark and created stars and there was light. Some of the notes broke off and created planets. One of those planets was a very special planet called Earth. The Great Spirit’s tears of joy created water. The water fell to the Earth, mixed with the soil and life began to form. As the song continued mountains formed and valleys, oceans and rivers, all kinds of plants and every species of animal and finally people. The song was full of joy and flowers of every color were born, songbirds and giraffe. And from the song came laughter and tears. And the song created friendship and family and community. And the song created hope and peace and joy. And the Great Spirit was pleased with her song and her creation. So the Spirit continued to sing. And she set out to teach her creation to sing the song with her.

That is why to this day, whenever souls are longing for heaven or each other, they begin to sing. That is why today, if you focus your radio telescope into the night sky, you can still hear the stars and the planets singing. It is true. And if you stand by the water, you can hear the stream laughing and singing. And if you listen very carefully, you can hear the wind hum a tune and even the rocks and ice add their voice. The leaves, the butterfly, the weeping willow, and the middle-aged woman telling this story all hold the song in their hearts.

And that is why to this day, we gather around the fire to sing, to remember the song, to share in the joy of it. The Great Spirit is still singing the song with us because the song will never end. Nothing can destroy the song. And the song will never end. The song will never end.

CANCER UPDATE: Scans and good news and daisies!

Hi sweeties, my dear ones,

I have had trouble writing a health update of late. As soon as I start to write, I get distracted and by the time I get back, I'm in a whole different place and need to start over. So I'm going to try in one sitting to give you an update as short as possible. (and that did not happen--it is now several days later already.)

Here is a "quick" summary of the last month or so.

April 26--after going to the ER I was diagnosed with cellulitis and put on 10 days of antibiotics. My main symptom was a swollen breast...with some pain but no fever or sickness. Initially the fluid and swelling in the breast went down.

May 7--In June of 2020, when I was being diagnosed with breast cancer they also saw a couple of nodules on my lung. So May 7th, I had a follow up Chest CT Scan. The nodules were "stable" so that was good but the radiologist some somthing "else" on my thoracic spine. They wondered if it might be cancer so they scheduled an MRI.

Tuesday, May 18--I was awakened at 5am with pain under my left arm and some in my breast. The fluid and swelling had gone up again. So I called my oncology nurse for help. She did 2 things--upgraded my virtual appointment to an in person appointment with my nurse practitioner and she referred me to a lymphedema therapist. I was so grateful I had called.

Wednesday, May 19--I had my blood levels checked. All were good. No indication there of any infection. All good news!

Thursday, May 20--I saw the nurse practiioner. After examing me, he said quite empahtically "I am quite sure this all from your surgery and radiation. sometimes people get the fluid even 3 years later." but just to be sure, he set me up with a diagnostic mammogram. I went home encouraged that someone (besides me) had examined me and concluded that my experience was within the normal range of experience. This was good news to me! 

Friday May 21--8:30 am. I had the MRI on my spine....they were looking for what they thought might be a cancer spot that had showed up in the previous CT scan. They found no evidence of cancer, just an old injury which made sense since I had fallen on the steps last july and landed on my tail bone. So nothing new to worry about there. GOOD NEWS!

Friday, May 21--1:15 pm I had my initial session with the lymphedema therapist. she gave me massage on my lymph nodes and exericises to do to help my lymph nodes keep working better.  I think it is helping some. I'm not good at regular exercise but I'm motivated. It is good news that I have something to do to help myself that isn't taking more drugs. YAY!

Massage: In addition, I am having a weekly massage with Janet Midthun. Cooincidentally she also knows how to do the lymphedema work and I think that helps me too. So grateful for Janet and her availability to me! more good news.

Chiropractor: I also see the chiropractor every 2 weeks to keep my spine aligned and neck too.

THURSDAY, MAY 27TH--AN ANNIVERSARY--last year on this day I found a lump in my breast, just two days after George Flloyd's murder. What a year! I'm happy to still be in it! still here!

May 27--  I had my diagnositc mammogram. It was 98% possitive. the radialogist was 98% sure that the little spot they did find was nothing but to be sure he scheduled me for a needle biopsy. Sigh! Another test and more looking for cancer.

June 1st--11am, I had my needle biopsy. The nurses and the radiologist were super nice to me and it only took a half hour! In spite of the test, this was a good day for me! I was so grateful for the people who keep doing this work and do it well.

June 2nd--2 pm, a nurse at the Breast Center called to tell me that my test results were in. NO CANCER! So I asked her about the fluid in my breast and she said it might take months for it to go away. Okay...good to have that clarified again. While I was still talking to her, Goran, the nurse practioner called to tell me the good news too. I got a kick out of how they both called me immediately after getting the report. Goran, said all that showed was dense breast tissue with some bits of calcification. He said I should keep doing the lymphedema and massage and that both of those things would help. GOOD NEWS! I shed some tears of gratitude and relief. Nothing new to worry about! 

Xeloda....June 25 is my last scheduled dose of this chemotherapy pill. Hopefully my oncologist doesn't have anything else to give me. My body and my heart are so ready to be done with chemo. Whew!

Daisies and songs...haha..this is basically an excuse to share my daisies with you. One of my deep joys in life has been daisies, their simplicity and their stunning beauty. Daisies are good news too, along with the fact that I had my lovely Morningstar Singers over on Tuesday night for our first in-person singing in over a year! Good news indeed!

It's been a long taxing year. Please keep praying that my neuropathy heals. I am ready to get my life back, even if it is a different life than before.

Thank you all for your deep support of me over this last year, for listening to me ramble, for allowing me to not always be the cancer girl, for loving me as I am.

I am so grateful and wouldn't have made it through the year without you.

Love you big,

You are good news!

Jules

PHASE 3: Radiation PLUS Happy New Year!

 January 4, 2020

On the last day of the year, 12/31/2020, I went to see my radiologist for my mappings scans. This seemed an appropriate way to end the year, after all that has happened. This is the process for them to map out exactly what they will point the radiation at. A physicist works with the radiologist to create a plan using the scans. This week, on Wednesday, I will go back for a final review of the plan and a dry run. Then Thursday, I will start my official radiation treatments. They will be every weekday until I have done 20. My last radiation treatment is Wednesday, February 3rd. Whew!

I am feeling peaceful and hopeful about the radiation. I am assured that the side effects are minor and I am thrilled that it will be over in a month compared to 5 months of chemotherapy and all that mess. We can do this! Radiation can kill things scans can't see. The radiation treatments are mainly to prevent recurrence of the cancer.

My neuropathy continues to be an annoying issue. I keep hoping the feeling in my feet and fingers will someday come back. Sigh! Meantime, my hair is beginning to grow back. My grandson tells me it is "really soft."Yay! And so, I am grateful that you continue praying. My sister once said to me, "if we could bottle prayer, we could cure lots of things." Amen to that!

Meantime, Pete and I have had a wonderful holiday season with our COVID bubble, otherwise known as our kids and grandkids. Since it was also school break, that meant both Jacob and Karl had more time to be with us. We got see all of them for Christmas Eve and all of them at some point around New Year's. We are so grateful for this time to just be together and have some fun. It is good for our souls. I pray that all of you have had some moments of joy too over the holiday. Here is my New Year's Wish for you:

SONGS OF HOPE TO SHARE #1

Inspired by all the song sharing on Facebook these last 2 weeks, I thought I'd share some songs of hope with you from various sources. Songs to Share during COVID-19 crisis:

This song was written by Linda Allen in response to the burning of the World Trade Center in NYC after 9/11/2001. 

you can find out more about Linda and this song here: https://songsforthegreatturning.net/honoring-our-pain-for-the-world/ashes-and-smoke/

Ashes and Smoke by Linda Allen
"We have been burned, burned by the fire.
And we are ashes, ashes and smoke
And we will rise, higher and higher
On the wings of compassion, justice and hope."
Written by Linda Allen after 9/11/2001, the burning of The World Trace Center in NYC. Singing party nov 2016 www.singportland.com




Laurence is a sweet and powerful song writer and circle song leader. A couple days ago, I came across this one and it touched my heart so deeply during this COVID-19 quarantine. Without jobs to go to, or events to attend, many of us now have time to "busy" ourselves with these heart-centered activities...beauty, love, friendship, peace, health.

you can find out more about Laurence and this song here: https://www.laurencecole.com/album/busy-yourself-making-beauty/

Busy Yourself Making Beauty by Laurence Cole.

Busy yourself making beauty.  Busy yourself making love.

Busy yourself making friendship, and everything else will work out.

GROUNDING MYSELF IN SINGING

GROUNDING MYSELF IN SINGING

Nearly three weeks ago, we all received an invitation, later it became an order, to STAY HOME. A tiny little protein covered with fat, called COVID-19 has turned our world upside down. We've cancelled an important annual event for us personally. We've shut down stores, businesses, schools, churches. There is no book group, no choir practice, no dance party. My planned presentations have been cancelled. People can't do funerals, weddings, birthday parties, graduations. They work from home as best they can. They teach their kids from home. We're living apart....and yet....we are living together again, like we haven't done in years. People are playing and calling and talking and singing. 

in the last three weeks, I've attended 5 singing 'circles' online through the tool we call Zoom. EAch time we've had between 10 and 36 singers on the screen at once. And though we don't get to hear ourselves sing together, we are singing together...one person's microphone is on, the rest are muted. ANd we're singing. And we're seeing each other. In case, I was singing with some people I have sung iwth before, in person and some people I haven't sung with before. In case, I was touched to the core by the vision on the screen. Though we aren't sharing the voice, we are sharing the song and the song/prayer is going out over the airwaves still, the soundwaves traveling out all over the world. 

This is not exclusive to our country. People all over the world are singing, drawn to that natural desire to express what is in their hearts and souls and create harmony and peace and love. 

So I drew this picture as a reflection of what I feel during those Zoom screen singing circles. Though the screen is flat, the circle is still real, like the picture.

Song circles are no longer round

Now faces on a flat screen instead

Zoom in the time of quarantine

Brings hearts together still

Weaving the thread that holds us together

With the voice of longing we all share

For that time when we will again be

Holding hands, Touching hearts, Living free. ~ jules, 3/29/2020

GRATITUDE MONTH--DAY #11: SONGS & SINGING

I just came away from attending a symposium at a local church about how music influences our spiritual experience and how songs create social change. It raised awareness in me again of how precious singing and songs are to me. I started with parents who sang together. We sang together as a family regularly. My parents sang in the car on long trips, their harmony was beautiful. I remember my sister teaching me songs when I was very young and she was a teenager. I still remember those songs. But it didn't stop there. I grew up in a community that sang together a lot, most of it the form of spiritual songs or hymns, a lot of it in worship but not all. We sang for the fun of it too. And as an adult, I sing a LOT, church choir, voices of women, Singing in the Light, Morning Star Singers, and Village Fire Songfest. And oh the songs! How they fill my heart and sustain my life!

So today I thought I would make list of favorite Song Friends that have offered me strength, wisdom, courage and so much more over the years. Though not a complete list, here is a start: 

Jesus Loves Me (in Malagasy & English)

               Probably the first song I ever heard as it was my mom’s all-time favorite. She sang it often, even as we got older, even as she was aging. It seemed to be all she ever needed to know was that she was loved. And that was enough.

Children of the Heavenly Father

               This is the first song I remember my sister Vangie teaching me. It was precious to me then and is now. Children of the Heavenly Father, safely in his bosom gather.

White Choral Bells

               I had no idea what white coral bells were but singing a round with my sister was magical when I was 5 and she was 16. Sweetness!

Music Alone Shall Live

               Another treasure from sister, this one planted that thought in my heart that music as forever, nothing could ever stop it.

When It’s too Hot for Popcorn

               A goofy ditty from Dad that helped me understand that humor was part of life’s package. “It ain’t no sin, to take off your skin and dance around in your bones.”

How Great Thou Art

               In first grade, at our missionary kids’ boarding school, this was one of the first things I remember Milla Thompson teaching us. She had it on a giant size board book with photos. The photos helped me know write away this was a song about stars, thunder, mountains and singing!

My Faith Looks Up to Thee

               This sweet little old hymn was one of my first personal prayers when I discovered the spiritual side of life, when I discovered faith was something in me. “May thy rich grace impart, strength to my fainting heart.” A wonderful prayer indeed.

Amahl & the Night Visitors Soundtrack

               My family listened to this opera on LP each Christmas and the songs in it became part of my skin. “Licorice, licorice, licorice…have some!”

In the Hall of the Mountain King,

               This is one of my most favorite piano pieces by Edvard Grieg, Norwegian composer. I memorized it for my senior piano recital. Oh, how I wish I knew it now.

How Can I keep From Singing

               This old traditional hymn as such precious words and carries that same thought of music lasting beyond all of life’s perils. I sang this nightly to my son Hans as he was dying of brain cancer at age 11. And now it lives in my heart forever.

Goodnight to you all

               And speaking of Hans, my sister gave our family this precious song gift when she visited our dying son. Hans learned it too and sang it with us up until about his last day. “May angels around you their silent watch keep.”

Surrounding You

               Barbara McAfee wrote this song and 2 or3 days later taught it to Morning Star Singers during a practice. By the end of line 2 I was sobbing, suddenly feeling as if my dead parents were sending me this precious message from the other side. “I wish you courage for the next step and the next, peace in the middle of the storm.” Until this moment, I had never looked at myself as a precious child, through the parents’ eyes. Whoa!

Hallelujah Chorus

               I’ve enjoyed so many times of singing this timeless song. My favorite experience though was singing it alongside the Malagasy choir in Ft. Dauphin one Christmas. Oh, what joyful noise we made!

It’s Been a Good Day

               Best line—“I may not have done all that I wanted to do, but oh, it’s been a mighty good day!”

Pass It On

               This song was a popular campfire song when I was a teen. But I loved that idea that just a spark of love, of God’s love, could ignite a whole fire, a whole crowd with love.

This Little Light of Mine

               I’m still learning this one, not how to sing it but how to live it, how to shine!

We Shall overcome

               For many years at our current congregation, the Senior choir sang this with the Little kid’s choir during Lent. I cry every time I sing it with those kids, touched by the idea that all the generations do have this hope that together we will do better, be better.

Sanctuary

               This is the precious song we sing each time we start a practice or sing with Morning Star Singers. “with thanksgiving I’ll be a living sanctuary for you.” This is regular prayer for me now.

Yes

               Barbara McAfee’s anthem delights and invites me to live out in the light, in the Yesses. And she’s right, the yeses of life bring amazing opportunities for living.

Holy Angels

               Sara Thomsen’s precious lullaby wraps us all in a blanket of love as we fall into sleep or death. Yum!

There's more, there's so much more but you get the idea! but with all this and more, how can I possibly keep from singing?!