This idea that if we are on the right track, all things align and if we are on the wrong track, all things are bumpy is a myth. Bad things happen to bad people and to good people.. Life is just messy. I am no more immune from these mishaps than you. What we perceive as good things happening, also seems to be sometimes random and sometimes purposeful.
Breathe easy my friend. We are all in this mess together. The magic is not in the success or failure but in the way LOVE flows through us, bringing healing in every situation, bringing wholeness and connection. The magic is not that I didn't get ill this winter but that through the illness my heart was drawn to tenderness and trust and love once again. The miracle is that when I needed it, my body told me to rest and I listened.
I don't mean to keep repeating myself about my experience with Hans but I learned a lot from that day in 1999 when the radiologist told me my 10-year-old son had a brain tumor. Up to that point, I had all the ingredients of a "successful" and "blessed" life--happy marriage to my best friend, wonderful healthy children, enough money to allow me to stay home with them, an active church community, good schools, and good friends and nearby family. I thought I had it made. Does the cancer and all the fall-out from it mean that I was on the wrong track? Does the fact that my son died, 16 months later, mean that my prayers weren't heard? and the list of questions goes on.
This is an extreme example and that's why I bring it up. When I look back on my son's life and death and all that has transpired since, all I feel is love and gratitude. Would I take my son back in heartbeat? YES. Would I trade places with him? YES> Would I trade my heart back to that woman i was before he he got cancer? NO. LOVE prevailed even if luck did not. Certainly then, Love can overcome my error on those days when it seems like all I do is folly and the entire universe seems to be calling me a "loser!"
I believe in a force more powerful than any mistake I can make or evil that can fall upon me. I believe in God's creative and redeeming LOVE, a force so amazing that it even touches the crazy and tangled Jules...me!
Sending you love and grace,
jules
Showing posts with label loved. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loved. Show all posts
Saturday, May 9, 2015
Monday, February 16, 2015
SONGS OF LOVE
February 16, 2015, Monday
Valentine's Day was Saturday and yesterday the choir at church sang several beautiful songs of love. (I am grateful for our director, David Livingston's gift of being able to pick just the right songs for each Sunday) Yesterday's songs are still rattling around in my head and heart and keep asking to be shared. So here are the words to three of them. AS you read through, I hope these words seep into your heart as well. Love is the source of all our life. It is a sacred thing because it is from God. Happy loving dear friend! ~ Jules
Valentine's Day was Saturday and yesterday the choir at church sang several beautiful songs of love. (I am grateful for our director, David Livingston's gift of being able to pick just the right songs for each Sunday) Yesterday's songs are still rattling around in my head and heart and keep asking to be shared. So here are the words to three of them. AS you read through, I hope these words seep into your heart as well. Love is the source of all our life. It is a sacred thing because it is from God. Happy loving dear friend! ~ Jules
LOVE SONGS FROM SINGING IN CHOIR
When Our Heart is in a Holy Place
[words & music by Joyce Poley]
CHORUS:
When our heart is in a holy place
When our heart is in a holy place
We are blessed with love and amazing grace
When our heart is in a holy place
When we trust the wisdom in each of us
Every color, every creed and kind
And we see our faces in each other’s eyes
Then our heart is in a holy place.
When we tell our story from deep inside
And we listen with a loving mind
And we hear our voices in each other’s words
Then our heart is in a holy place.
When we share the silence of sacred space
And the God of our Heart stirs within
And we feel the power of each other’s faith
Then our heart is in a holy place.
Love is the Touch
[words by Alison Robertson, Iona Community,
Tune: SLANE, arranged by Lori True]
Tune: SLANE, arranged by Lori True]
Love is the touch of intangible joy
Love is the force that no fear can destroy
Love is the goodness we gladly applaud
God is where love is for love is of God
Love is the lilt in a lingering voice
Love is the hope that can make us rejoice
Love is the cure for the frightened and flawed
God is where love is for love is of God
Love is the light in a tunnel of pain
Love is the will to be whole once again
Love is the trust of friend on the road
God is where love is for love is of God
Love is the Maker and Spirit and Son
Love is the kingdom their will has begun.
Love the pathway the saints all have trod
God is where love is for love is of God
Monday, October 14, 2013
THIS NEW DAY
Monday, October 14, 2013
I LOVE mornings! This is something that I inherited from my parents. I know this because the few times I've had reunions with my siblings, all of us have been awake and drinking tea by 7:30 am. and this is in spite of the fact that they are much older than me so we weren't growing up in the same decade. Of course, with mom and dad it was coffee but the same idea. My dad would often start his day with reading his Bible. Little did I know then, that he too had a contemplative nature. He was a pastor and often preached about the dailiness of the spiritual life. He would say that each day we were born anew to begin again with a fresh and clean slate. So no matter what had passed the day before, it was forgiven and gone. And I felt that. Generally speaking, Mom and Dad did not hold grudges. They held worries but not grudges. We were forgiven and life moved on. I think that's part of why I love mornings so much. Each day is a new beginning.
I LOVE mornings! This is something that I inherited from my parents. I know this because the few times I've had reunions with my siblings, all of us have been awake and drinking tea by 7:30 am. and this is in spite of the fact that they are much older than me so we weren't growing up in the same decade. Of course, with mom and dad it was coffee but the same idea. My dad would often start his day with reading his Bible. Little did I know then, that he too had a contemplative nature. He was a pastor and often preached about the dailiness of the spiritual life. He would say that each day we were born anew to begin again with a fresh and clean slate. So no matter what had passed the day before, it was forgiven and gone. And I felt that. Generally speaking, Mom and Dad did not hold grudges. They held worries but not grudges. We were forgiven and life moved on. I think that's part of why I love mornings so much. Each day is a new beginning.
Certainly, this does not make me lovable to all those who crawled out of bed grudgingly this morning. I know that some of you have so much pain in your body, the idea of moving in the morning is a daunting thing. I know that some of you will start this day starving for sleep that you were unable to embrace for any number of reasons. I know that some of you are carrying such grief or trauma, another day of carrying on also seems more of a challenge than any move can muster. Even I have sore, plantarfaciitus/arthritic feet that scream when I first step on them in the morning. I too have concerns and a to-do list that are bigger than this day. Each person carries a load with them. Life can be hard and another day of it can seem impossible.
Still, I invite you to consider that this new day has new possibilities. I invite you to consider that yesterday's mistakes and guffaws really are forgiven, that no grudge is being held against you. You are free to begin again in whatever small or large way you can. And you are loved and adored even if today all you do is just sit and listen to music or watch the leaves fall.
I invite you to consider that this day is your precious gift and you are one of this day's precious gifts. Not only are you enough for this day, you are also a gift to this day. For sure you are one of the gifts of my day.
so just breathe.
I am grateful you are here. Thank you.
And, thanks for reading.
love, jules
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
People
Eyes that sparkle and shine
Or ache to be seen
Ears that giggle at the sounds they hear
Or cringe from the too sharp noise
Noses that wrinkle up at the stench
or twitch with glee
Tongues that savor the flavor of chocolate
Or stick their tips out in distaste
Hands that work hard, wringing each other in desparation
or reach out and with just a gentle touch
Lift all the burdens of the world off another's shoulders
Thoughts that can encompass the universe
Invent the magical, overcome the impossible
Words and notes that sing of the angels, of God and Love
Words that challenge and sometimes damage
People
I LOVE people
newborns and toddlers
grandpas and grandmas
wobbly old man with the cane
the cranky old woman with dementia
the bossy middle-aged lady empowered with her wisdom
curious grade-school kids
questioning teenagers
young adults with ideals and hearts and energy to change the world
lonely people forgotten and scared
presidents and queens
actresses and secretaries
singers and pastors
nurses, bus drivers, street sweepers
nannies, artists, programmers
family, friends, loved ones
co-workers and partners
teachers, mentors, therapists
advisors, listeners, coaches
people
I LOVE people
Today I cry with the deep love for people
with the sensitive compassion for the suffering
with gratitude for the abundance of people
People
~sending my love, Jules
August 13, 2013
Or ache to be seen
Ears that giggle at the sounds they hear
Or cringe from the too sharp noise
Noses that wrinkle up at the stench
or twitch with glee
Tongues that savor the flavor of chocolate
Or stick their tips out in distaste
Hands that work hard, wringing each other in desparation
or reach out and with just a gentle touch
Lift all the burdens of the world off another's shoulders
Thoughts that can encompass the universe
Invent the magical, overcome the impossible
Words and notes that sing of the angels, of God and Love
Words that challenge and sometimes damage
People
I LOVE people
newborns and toddlers
grandpas and grandmas
wobbly old man with the cane
the cranky old woman with dementia
the bossy middle-aged lady empowered with her wisdom
curious grade-school kids
questioning teenagers
young adults with ideals and hearts and energy to change the world
lonely people forgotten and scared
presidents and queens
actresses and secretaries
singers and pastors
nurses, bus drivers, street sweepers
nannies, artists, programmers
family, friends, loved ones
co-workers and partners
teachers, mentors, therapists
advisors, listeners, coaches
people
I LOVE people
Today I cry with the deep love for people
with the sensitive compassion for the suffering
with gratitude for the abundance of people
People
~sending my love, Jules
August 13, 2013
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Some Days are just Lonely Days
Loneliness seeps into the cracks of my doubt on those days when the space between loving grace and generous giving are too wide. I fight loneliness with all my being. It is my weakness, my arthritis, my Achilles's tendon. On days when a cold indifferent shoulder is the nearest thing to human contact that I can find and I have not yet moved on to the next action of returned gratitude, that's when loneliness sneaks into my view eclipsing the sunshine of friendship and creativity that is ever shining around me.
I get lonely so easily; more easily in my fifties than ever before. The fact of people leaving is too real. I do my best to keep the goodbyes and hellos in balance but i'm not in control. Every goodbye, every hello is a relationship that takes at least two people to make happen. People leave for all kinds of reasons of their own; most of them not intended to hurt those left behind; death, cancer, dementia, new jobs, kids going off to their own lives, personal growth, life changes, accidents, disease, faith, school. My brain knows it is unreasonable to ask for an explanation from each person that leaves OR to be able to stay in relationship with everyone who has ever come my way. And yet, my heart seems to notice the separations on those days when I fall in the gap between love and grace. It's no one's fault. Life is goodbye, life is hello, life is goodbye again.
These lonely days start innocently with something like wanting to honor the anniversary of the death of my wonderful son Hans who died at age eleven of brain cancer (12 years ago now) and then suddenly the loneliness has spiraled out of control making me feel as if I will always be left behind. I hate it when that brief reminder of grief, in a sudden grandiose movement. captures in all the goodbyes I've ever experienced. That's just way too much and for a day it rips open all my reserves, flooding my Kleenex box with tears. Even in the middle of it I wonder if there is any sanity in grief, in loneliness.What am I to do? life will keep being goodbye and hello and the older i get, the more I will get to say goodbye. Sigh! What is a vulnerable heart to do?
Yesterday was such a day, a day to feel how alone it is to be human. I cried until I was exhausted. At the end of my day I was spent and giving up, hoping a night of sleep would bring me to new clear day. Just as I was on my last cry of the day two things happened. the first was that the phone rang; my sister called and recognizing my sorrow helped me to laugh again. The second was a whisper in my heart; a voice whispering "you are my beloved." Aaaaah! Balm for my tired heart!
And then one more sweet thing happened. A friend sent a message to remind me that we had plans today! So today I wake with a little grief hangover and a heaping dose of love filling my heart. I am living in grace once again.
Dear reader, If today is your day of feeling as if all is lost, that you are alone in your journey, I pray that when your grief is spent, you too will hear that precious voice whispering in your heart " you are my beloved." . I pray too that your phone will ring and call you back to your graceful life. I pray this with all my heart for I know you are as loved as me or as any of us. You are beloved!
sending hugs,
jules
I get lonely so easily; more easily in my fifties than ever before. The fact of people leaving is too real. I do my best to keep the goodbyes and hellos in balance but i'm not in control. Every goodbye, every hello is a relationship that takes at least two people to make happen. People leave for all kinds of reasons of their own; most of them not intended to hurt those left behind; death, cancer, dementia, new jobs, kids going off to their own lives, personal growth, life changes, accidents, disease, faith, school. My brain knows it is unreasonable to ask for an explanation from each person that leaves OR to be able to stay in relationship with everyone who has ever come my way. And yet, my heart seems to notice the separations on those days when I fall in the gap between love and grace. It's no one's fault. Life is goodbye, life is hello, life is goodbye again.
These lonely days start innocently with something like wanting to honor the anniversary of the death of my wonderful son Hans who died at age eleven of brain cancer (12 years ago now) and then suddenly the loneliness has spiraled out of control making me feel as if I will always be left behind. I hate it when that brief reminder of grief, in a sudden grandiose movement. captures in all the goodbyes I've ever experienced. That's just way too much and for a day it rips open all my reserves, flooding my Kleenex box with tears. Even in the middle of it I wonder if there is any sanity in grief, in loneliness.What am I to do? life will keep being goodbye and hello and the older i get, the more I will get to say goodbye. Sigh! What is a vulnerable heart to do?
Yesterday was such a day, a day to feel how alone it is to be human. I cried until I was exhausted. At the end of my day I was spent and giving up, hoping a night of sleep would bring me to new clear day. Just as I was on my last cry of the day two things happened. the first was that the phone rang; my sister called and recognizing my sorrow helped me to laugh again. The second was a whisper in my heart; a voice whispering "you are my beloved." Aaaaah! Balm for my tired heart!
And then one more sweet thing happened. A friend sent a message to remind me that we had plans today! So today I wake with a little grief hangover and a heaping dose of love filling my heart. I am living in grace once again.
Dear reader, If today is your day of feeling as if all is lost, that you are alone in your journey, I pray that when your grief is spent, you too will hear that precious voice whispering in your heart " you are my beloved." . I pray too that your phone will ring and call you back to your graceful life. I pray this with all my heart for I know you are as loved as me or as any of us. You are beloved!
sending hugs,
jules
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