It Starts with a Trickle

July 2018--The Mississippi Headwaters

Earlier this month, I had the opportunity to be at the Mississippi Headwaters with my family. I've been there a number of times, the first time when I was just 9 years old. And all that time, I've always known this was the start of the Mississippi, the same river we cross in the Twin Cities on a daily basis. So this year it surprised me a little when I had a new experience of it.

While some of the family was walking in the water up to the first foot bridge and other family were watching the stuff, I had the opportunity to walk alongside the river on my own. That's when it hit me...if you didn't know any better, you'd just call this a creek. It's so little, you might not even give it that much credit. At very beginning it's just a trickle of water over the rocks in the corner of Lake Itasca, shallow enough for my 3-year-old granddaughter to wade in it. By the foot bridge, it is still only knee or thigh high. It's a very small movement. It's almost nothing and yet it isn't.

I thought how the Mississippi is one of the major life forces of this country, bringing life and energy to both people and animals. It's the reason people came and built towns and cities. It's part of the reason this part of the world became farmland. For centuries, that water has found its way from northern Minnesota all the way to the gulf carrying nutrients and water and people and animals along with it.

And that's when this idea hit me: every major movement starts with a trickle. We don't know at the beginning how far it will move us. We may never know how the kindness we do today grows and moves as it travels from one person to another. Pete and I have had the opportunity to cross the Mississippi River at many points from the innocent beginning to the Gulf of Mexico. It travels a long way, through many different ecosystems, towns and cities.

What if the love we share today is the trickle that will bring hope and life down river? What if it's not hopeless or pointless to keep on trying? The trickle takes awhile to build momentum but mile after mile, day after day, it gathers more energy and speed and life as other water ways join it.

So, I'm wondering, how will I offer some kindness, some love, some peace, some understanding today? It only needs to be a trickle.

A NEW YEAR'S INVITATION

(photo: dawn on my street on winter solstice)

A NEW YEAR'S INVITATION

A new year has come

and your are invited to the feast of

another 365 days of living

a buffet of flavors and seasons

Love, humor, color, and more

Come taste the life offered to you

Open your ears to the music

your eyes to the beauty

your heart to the possibilities

A new year has come and you are invited

to live life to its fullest

to be who you are

may 2017 be your best year yet!

~Jules

The Basement Excavation: the 100th Box!

“Letting go is hard (really hard) but sometimes holding on is harder.” ~ Anonymous quote.

“Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on” ~ Eckhart Tolle

What's the greater risk? Letting go of what people think - or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am? Brene Brown

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(NOTE: I did not say last box...I said 100th box!)

Today, just today, I went through my 100^th box! Of the boxes I have gone through, I have emptied 62 boxes! This means that most of those 62 boxes has ended up in the recycling bin by our garbage…and a few have made it to the thrift store. I am 8 weeks in to my commitment to attack 2 boxes per day. Of the boxes that are not empty, an additional 15 are scheduled to be given to other people; mostly old Malagasy books. And though I still have umpteen photo/negatives/slide boxes to go through, I am pausing to celebrate my progress.

Wow! The 100^th box! When I started I was very skeptical about getting even this far. I didn’t even count the boxes past 100 because I never believed I’d make it that far. This is amazing, so miraculous! I am not even sure that I can take credit for it even though I have felt each box in my bones and heart as I’ve sorted and emptied. A lot of tears have been shed. A lot of deep breaths have been let go. There have been many days when the instinct to hold on was stronger than the the need to let go. I can honestly say I am getting better at it though. Little by little I’m beginning to feel the power of letting go like Eckhart Tolle says in his quote (see above). Little by little, I am beginning to notice that along with the stuff, I’m letting go of old definitions of strength, of family, of connections. I’m letting go of what people think, of perceived expectations and focusing more on what I need to do to be healthy, what my family needs. Little by little, I am beginning to believe that my life after this will be freer, lighter; that I won’t be carrying this burden of stuff so I’ll have room to give more of my heart to other adventures.

So I am nearing the end of going through boxes of papers (which were mostly letters and scrapbook savings). Soon I will be going through a couple dozen boxes of old photos/slides/negatives. As I head that direction, I want to offer my gratitude to all of those who have offered me support and understanding in this process. I never dreamed I would get this far. Thank you!

~Jules

Everyday Love

Good morning reading friends,

Everyday there is some thing, some one, some exquisite moment of wisdom, some sorrow, some surprising joy, some whisper of life that catches the corner of my eye. For a moment I forget about the laundry, the project deadline, the things left unsaid, the mistakes and unhealthy choices. For a  moment I let go of my dreams and expectations and just wallow in the mystery of a world that despite its struggle is so stunningly beautiful. In that tiny moment, tucked between the back to back to back appointments, I experience my birth once again. I fall in love with God. I fall in love with people. I fall in love with love.

It happened everyday this week already.
Sunday--the Sunday school children sang their hearts out with a message of "pay it forward." Their earnestness makes me a believer all over again.
Monday--I rolled the ball to my 8-month old granddaughter. She rolled it back. I said, "good job, Solveig!" Her response was to raise her hands in the air and utter her version of "yay!" I'd been working on teaching her this since i first laid on her. And now she knows on her own. Yay!
Tuesday--right hand on my heart-left hand on the back of the person in front of me...around the circle, I sang with my dear friends in Morning Star Singers. "Deep in my Heart." The songs and the people are deep in my heart indeed. 
Wednesday--This morning just standing in the shower, washing away the dirt and the grime as the rain/snow mix offer a similar effect to the exterior. Water blessing my body and my heart, one drop at a time. 

Everyday there is some thing, some one, some exquisite moment of awareness, some surprising joy. Everyday Love.