January 9, 2021
Deep breath! What a week! Earlier this week, I went to radiology therapy for my pre-treatment dry run. At the exact same time, a group of insurrectionists gathered and with encouragement from our president and others, stormed the capitol. In addition, I have been getting messages from friends who have had major health issues or family deaths without a chance to gather for funerals. So many reasons to be discouraged. Enough said!
The next day I had my first of 20 radiation treatments to discourage my breast cancer from coming back. The treatments only take 10 minutes or so but it is a 15 to 20 minute drive each way. The treatments are every weekday until I have finished them all.
It is not lost on me that there is a cancer of sorts in our culture too. I think we all feel it. Whether we know how to name it or how to cure it, we feel it in our bones or the shortness of our breath. It's been there a long time and only now got serious and big enough for us to really know that we need healing. We need to stop and allow healing to happen. One of the things that has worked for me in the past and is especially helpful to me this past ten months has been going for a daily walk. Because I have been very weak some of that time, I hold onto my husband's arm and we sometimes walk very slow and don't go far. It is just important to at least get out of my house and walk around the neighborhood. I haven't always been faithful at this in the past but lately it is part of what saves me.
This practice is not just about exercise. It is about seeing the other part of the world, the other part of our reality, outside of our four walls and the screens that connect us now. The other thing that has worked for me is that I often take a camera with me or at least use my phone camera. The camera helps me really see what is there. The more I look, the more I am stunned at how abundant our world is. And by that I mean an abundance of beauty, of love, of glorious life! I look at the big and I look at the small details and the more I look, the more densely packed the world is with amazing life!
This practice seeps into my relationships. I started noticing how incredible people are too. Although I'm less likely to take photos of them, I keep a heart picture of them inside of me. In the face of so many reasons to give up or lose hope, most people perservere and some even shine brighter than ever, making me wonder how I could let a little thing like spilled tea or lost keys or rush hour traffic bother me; making me think I can overcome this cancer and live on. And it makes me wonder how to invite that abunbance into the spotlight, so that we have hope of healing the community.
Today, my answer to that question is just to share some of my photos with you (see link at the end of this). The photos are all of trees and bushes in my neighborhood within a two-block radius of my house, that I took just this morning. We don't need to look far. We just need to look with eyes and hearts and ears open. There is hope. Here is some of my reason for being grateful and hopeful today.
I pray that some day soon we'll know how to move through this time and find healing. I pray that my cancer will never come back. In the meantime, the trees and all of your hearts and all of your songs help keep me grounded in love and I hope this helps you too.
peace be with you, Jules
