The Basement Excavation: Remembering Mom and Dad

Case #3: Remembering Mom and Dad

The other day I was sorting though another old box of my mom's. She had old letters, school programs; a chaos of papers. She used to save everything we ever did, every letter we wrote, everything. I came accross a card I made for my parents for their 30th anniversary. It was exquisite in both design and content. I was professing my love and gratitude to them for the gift of family they had given me. It undid me. I remembered how much I loved them and how much I miss them. Mom and Dad weren't perfect but I do believe I learned about love from them, real love. I wish with all my heart and body that I could tell them how I've lived in that love and used it. Oh the ache of that moment and the sweetness of knowing I had given them a gift in return, of gratitude. I didn't get much done the rest of that day. Perhaps I won't throw that card just yet.

Sometimes I wish, really wish that Mom hadn't saved everything, that she had let go. But that day, I was grateful. And I know her well enough to know she let go of plenty. Sigh!

Update:

AS of today, March 10th, I have gone through 66 boxes. 40 of those boxes have been emptied. some have been reused to haul things away to recycling or the thrift shop. In addition I've unloaded 4 big bags of clothes. Lots of tears have been shed as I face old family baggage that I've avoided for a LONG Time (at least 15 years). They have been therapeutic tears though exhausting at times. Today there are no tears and I'm grateful for that too. Today I just feel good to still be in it, to have not given up yet.

I've been saying that the word for the year is CLEAR. I love that you can interpret this in a number of ways. i'm still waiting for a sweet mission statement to come out of this, a nice statement of intention that makes the purpose all CLEAR.

I am praying and yearning for God's guidance and wisdom in all of this. If I let go of the old family stuff, will I better be able to handle the truth of family that is NOW? i hope so. and will I find renewed energy to pursue other dreams? I hope so.

Gratitude:  Many thanks to those friends, I think you know who you are, who have been so supportive of me during this project. I am so grateful! ~ jules