Pondering Purpose

So, recently I wrote about transfiguration, transition and transformation. And I'm still there, I guess. Have you ever watched a garden or a child grow? Have you ever watched a flower bud blossom? Have you ever watched night become dawn and then day? How do you know which is the exact moment of the transformation? Do actually see the flower open? Do you know which exact second, it ceased to be night and became dawn? My experienced answer is NO. I don't. It just is that one moment I look and I realize it is dawn, the flower has bloomed, my child is suddenly bigger. I haven't seen the transformation happen but I know it has. 

In those first moments after I realize the flower is open, I celebrate. I rejoice in the early moments of dawn and in the awakening to my own growth. New life is delightful and sunny. Fabulous fuel for gratitudel! But then what?

After a bit of celebration, whether that is hours, days or weeks, it isn't long before I am wondering what now? How do i use this new gift, this new transformation of the former me? How do i live now that I've grown? There is even the question, how do I parent this new child that my baby has become? this new adult that my child has become? How do i live with the transformation?

This last week, the ELCA, one of the LUtheran church bodies, has made a long-coming decision to open the door to gay and lesbian pastors. It was a long struggle and passionate battle fought over many, many years. for the moment we can celebrate but then what? Int he weeks to come, the ELCA will have to ask, how do we live as this newly transformed body?

Three weeks ago, I returned from a two-week pilgrimage to the Umbrian province of Italy, including St. Francis' stompin' grounds. i came back, a transfigured, transformed person. And now that the celebration has worn off, I'm wondering how I'm going to live. How do I live in the old place with the new me? I'm grateful beyond words for this gift but how do I live like this? What does it mean to be me at work, in my family, in my relationships?

For many, getting to the point of realizing the gift of LOVE that God has given us, is a huge revelation moment on the  spiritual journey. We can float on the gratitude of that for years. But then comes the day when we ask...how do I live with the new me in the old skin? It isn't true transformation if I don't apply it to my life...is it?


I'm still asking that question. I don't have any definitive answers. I'm sharing the questions in hopes that if you are asking the same questions, maybe we'll come with up answers together.