LAMENTING A YEAR

PREFACE: A little history... March 13, 2020 Governor Walz shut down Minnesota in precaution of the spread of COVID-19. March 12, 2020, we cancelled our annual Dragonfly Project Celebration Event. A week before I had set up my 2nd photo gallery show. That too was shut down. May 27, 2020, two days after George Floyd was killed before our eyes, I found a lump in my breast and have been treating for breast cancer ever since. Now it is a year later. And this is my lament...

MY LAMENT A YEAR LATER---APRIL 27, 2020

Okay, so I get breast cancer.
Why should I be exempt?
I can think of no reason why.
It is not the worst but still it is serious.
And it’s still not fair.
My whole life is about cancer now.
CANCER RULES

But that’s not enough
George Floyd is murdered before our eyes
In a very violent way with no regret from the police officer who killed him.
A few days later violent crowds burned the city
VIOLENCE RULES

But that’s not enough
A virus, a teeny, tiny little bug
Takes over the world with the biggest pandemic ever

And it kills millions
COVID RULES

But that’s not enough
The pandemic separation is a pandemic itself

It separates us from our friends,
From our hopes and dreams
From our practices of community
From our lives, from our work
SEPARATION RULES

But that’s not enough
Our government, our democracy
Is barely surviving, living on Fear
Afraid of losing
Afraid of control, afraid of no control
Afraid of each other
Afraid of ourselves and the darkness
FEAR RULES

But that’s not enough
Black men keep getting murdered
Police keep getting blamed for what belongs to everyone
Always we are blaming the other

Elders are dying alone

Half a million have died of COVID
Mother’s keep weeping in their sleep for lost children
Father’s keep gnashing their teeth in the night for lost opportunities
Brothers and sisters stare out into the empty sky looking for a star to wish on
Friends continue to be far away, each of us lost in our own loss
GRIEF RULES

But that’s not enough
I had to lose my feet and hands to neuropathy
Hand/foot syndrome
Numbness, and pain
And now cellulitis, swelling and pain
Really? Wasn’t it enough already?
CANCER STILL RULES even after it is gone

This is my lament
CANCER RULES
VIOLENCE RULES
COVID RULES
SEPARATION RULES
FEAR RULES
GRIEF RULES
 
How long or Lord how long?
How long?
How long until we let go of these lies?
How long until we see that it is LOVE, LOVE THAT PREVAILS?
That we begin with kindness and find light and love?
How long until we see through the mess to you?

How long until we see the SACRED in everything and everyone and are no longer SCARED?

~Jules Bonde, April 27, 2021