Breast Cancer Update—November 1, 2020
What a chaotic and miserable ride the year 2020 has been so far! With COVID and civil unrest and the chaotic election campaign and then for me, breast cancer! It’s all a big messy pile of tangled garbage to me! I found my cancer lump the week George Floyd was murdered and I’m ending my first phase of treatment the same week as election day! Ugh!
It’s been nearly 5 months since my breast cancer diagnosis, and I am almost done with the chemotherapy treatment phase. I have one more Taxol treatment on the calendar this week on Wednesday. I have an agreement with my oncologist that this last treatment is negotiable. I will meet with her online Wednesday morning before my treatment to make that final decision.
Throughout the treatment so
far, I have been hit rather hard with side effects caused by the chemotherapy
drugs. Even the doctors and nurses have said that I have had more than my fair
share. Currently my feet are quite numb, especially my toes and foot pads. This causes me to be a bit
unstable as my feet don’t really feel the ground. In addition, I have
neuropathy damage in my fingertips as well. My fingers are also clumsy as a
result. My fingernails are also extremely affected by this. There is some pain
with this but mostly it is unnerving and makes me shaky. Throughout the
treatment I have had lots of issues with digestion and intestines as well. In
addition, I usually have a couple of days each weekly cycle when my bones in my
legs just ache. Most recently, I’m having some episodes that cause my arms and
legs to tremor for a bit.
And now, nearing the end, I am starting to have hope that as I detox from this, my body will find ways to recover and heal. At least that is what I pray for.
What’s next? This coming Friday I will have my follow up scans to see how well we did. I am praying for a good report. I won’t really know the answer until I have my consult with the surgeon the following week. And then we will see what’s next.
Meantime, I am and have been grateful to know that all of you are there holding me up in your hearts. Your prayers and friendship mean so much to me. I have even had the chance to have a couple of longer conversations with friends recently, conversations that remind me how precious each of you really are. I can’t thank you enough. Truly! Your support means the world to me, even if you have not heard from me.
And now I pray for peace in our country, for God’s arms to wrap us in his abundant love and grace and fill us with wisdom for the next steps.
As I enter this next phase of my cancer treatment and the election comes to a close, I’d like to share this thought with you:
When all seems lost in the chaos, lean into the LOVE you know is real! Lean into the Holy One, lean into the trees, sun, and wind. Lean into the friendships and people you trust. The trees, the sun, the ground, your friends and the Holy One will never stop supporting you. Let that LOVE you KNOW fill you to fullness! Let that be the LOVE you breathe in today!
This is going to be my new daily practice this week. I’m
going to lean in to that LOVE! I invite you to do the same!
Peace be with you, Jules
I didn't know about your diagnosis until the day you most recently changed your profile photo on Facebook. I went back that day and read all of your blog posts since June. (I especially loved the September 30th post.) I am sorry you've been through so much pain, discomfort, and uncertainty. I'm glad you have your dear Pete and the rest of your family for support. You've been on my mind, and I pray that the suffering can be put behind you, that healing will be your, and that love continues to surround you.
ReplyDeleteJoanne Hansen